WELCOME to MONDAY JANUARY 19th, 2026

Here’s The Story….
A therapist has a theory that the more often couples make love, the happier they are. 
So he tests it at a seminar by asking those assembled, “How many people here make love 
2 to 3 times a week?” Half the people raise their hands, each of them grinning widely. 
“How about once a week?” A third of the audience members raise their hands, their grins a 
bit less vibrant. “Once a month?” A few hands tepidly go up. Then he asks, 
“OK, how about once a year?”

One man in the back jumps up and down, jubilantly waving his hands. The therapist is shocked 
as this lone aberration disproves his theory. “If you make love only once a year,” he asks, 
“what are you so happy about?” The man yells, “Today’s the day!” 😮
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFUL MONDAY people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

 
“New York’s State Assembly is considering a new bill that would legalize alcoholic ice cream. 
‘That’s great news,’ said a five-year-old having a rough day. 
‘Just a little something to take the edge off, Ma.'” -Seth Meyers

“Starbucks just announced that they’re closing 150 stores due to low sales. Meanwhile, 
the Starbucks inside Barnes & Noble was like, ‘Shhh – I think they forgot about us.'” -Jimmy Fallon

“In Virginia recently, a computer crash wiped out a decade’s worth of U.S. military data. 
However, this morning, the Chinese government called and said no problem, we backed it up.” -Conan O’Brien
 

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
At an art gallery, a woman and her 10 year old son were having a tough 
time choosing between two paintings. They finally chose and went with the autumn themed one.

“I see you prefer an autumn scene as opposed to a floral one,” said the gallery owner, 
who happened to be nearby and witnessed the mother-son interaction.
“No,” said the boy. “This painting is wider, so it’ll cover the three holes I put in the wall.”

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  
Which gangster movie starred Jack Nicholson, Kathleen Turner, and Angelica Huston?
  
Answer:  Prizzi’s Honor! Nicholson plays mob guy Charley Partanna, who falls hard for Turner’s character. She turns out to be a hitman (hitperson?) and thief. Angelica Huston as Mae Rose Prizzi stands to the side throwing monkey wrenches into their love affair.

 
Mondays Movie Trivia of the day!  
Mark Wahlberg played Chris Cole in which 2001 movie?

Friday’s Quizzler is….​
What do the following words have in common?

Vermont
Statuesque
Swedish
Arthur’s
Africa
Sensation
Misunderstood

Answer:  They each contain an abbreviation of a weekday.
verMONt
staTUESque
sWEDish
arTHUR’S
aFRIca
senSATion
miSUNderstood

Monday’s Quizzler is….​😎😎
A man was hiking in the hills for the first time and, for safety, he brings along two guides. At the beginning of the hike, the first guide said, “Keep all personal items close, stay behind me, and above all else, keep your balance around the steep dropoffs!” The second guide had never been on such a long hike and, despite the warnings, tumbled off one of the high cliffs and rolled into a valley. The second guide’s spine was broken in the fall. The man and the first guide watched the fall, shrugged, and moved on. Why did they offer no help or concern?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:
https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.

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