WELCOME to MONDAY FEBRUARY 23rd, 2026
Tendjewberrymud
Read aloud for best results (and some semblance of comprehension).
This was nominated “best email of 2024″.
The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service,
at a hotel in Asia which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review…
Room Service (RS): “Morny. Ruin sorbees”
Guest (G): “Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service”
RS: “Rye..Ruin sorbees..morny! Djewish to odor sunteen??”
G: “Uh..yes..I’d like some bacon and eggs”
RS: “Ow July den?”
G: “What??”
RS: “Ow July den?…pry, boy, pooch?”
G: “Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please.”
RS: “Ow July dee bayhcem…crease?”
G: “Crisp will be fine.”
RS : “Hokay. An San tos?”
G: “What?”
RS:”San tos. July San tos?”
G: “I don’t think so”
RS: “No? Judo one toes??”
G: “I feel really bad about this, but I don’t know what
‘judo one toes ‘means.”
RS: “Toes! toes!…why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlish mopping we bother?”
G: “English muffin!! I’ve got it! You were saying ‘Toast.’ Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine.”
RS: “We bother?”
G: “No..just put the bother on the side.”
RS: “Wad?”
G: “I mean butter…just put it on the side.”
RS: “Copy?”
G: “Sorry?”
RS: “Copy…tea…mill?”
G: “Yes. Coffee please, and that’s all.”
RS: “One Minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease baychem,tossy singlish
mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy….rye??”
G: “Whatever you say”
RS: “Tendjewberrymud”
G: “You’re welcome”
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFUL MONDAY people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“A man who ordered a television off of Amazon was shocked because Amazon
instead sent him a rifle. Which means somewhere a hunter is trying to kill a
deer by making it watch ‘Real Housewives.'” -Conan O’Brien
“According to a recent survey, 71 percent of men find it attractive when a woman
offers to split the bill on a date. And zero percent of women find it
attractive when that offer is accepted.” -Seth Meyers
“Kylie Minogue won a legal battle against Kylie Jenner over the trademark
of the name ‘Kylie.’ Yeah, the judge called the case
‘not why I went to law school.'” -Jimmy Fallon
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood.
Trying to make the matter clearer, he said: “Now, students, if I
stood on my head the blood, as you know, would run into it,
and I should turn red in the face.”
“Yes, sir,” the boys said.
“Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary
position the blood doesn’t run into my feet?”
A little fellow shouted, “‘It’s because yer feet ain’t empty.” 😮
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!
The events of “Alien 3” take place shortly after “Aliens”, and begins with an egg hatching on the ship, wreaking havoc on the crew in stasis. The computer ejects Ripley in an escape pod, and she becomes the only survivor when she crashes on the prison planet, Fiorina 161 (also called “Fury”).
A xenomorph has followed her to this planet, and now she must deal with yet another threatening facehugger. Curiously, in one scene, Ripley’s life is spared by the alien. We found out later alongside Ripley why she was spared; the Alien Queen embryo had been implanted inside of her. Though some begged her to let them surgically removed the embryo and destroy it, she knew there really was only one way the aliens would truly be vanquished.
She leapt into a furnace, destroying the Alien Queen alongside herself.
Answer: Fiorina 161 – Sigourney Weaver (1992) The correct answer was Alien 3
Mondays Movie Trivia of the day!
Sam and Michael are two teenagers who move to Santa Carla, California with their mother; unaware that this is a town overrun with vampires. After Michael begins showing signs of becoming a vampire himself, Sam and two of his friends set out to find and destroy the head vampire, as destroying it could reverse the process. They have to be quick, though; Michael is already developing a desire for human blood, and one taste will make the transformation complete.
Friday’s Quizzler is….
Five people were involved in an on-line auction for a photo of the original “Star Wars” crew. The bidding started at $200 and climbed. Each person was multitasking and doing something off-line while watching the bid (one of them was watching TV). From the clues below, determine the name of the person, their screen name, how much they bid, and what they were doing in the real world at the time.
1) The initial bid of $200 was made by the person who was reading at the same time, not by the bidder whose screen name was Ewok Master.
2) Neil raised it to $225, but he was not eating lunch; the bid by the person doing that was lower than Matt.
3) Blaklee didn’t take the bid to $250.
4) The person whose screen name is R2D3 clicked at $275.
5) Jessica was vacuuming while registering her bid, but it was lower than that of the person whose screen name was Jedi13.
6) The bidder going by Force Knight was washing the car at the same time as the auction.
7) George’s screen name is Lord Jabba.
Answer: Blaklee, known as R2D3, bid $275, while eating lunch.
Matt, known as Jedi13, bid $300, while watching TV.
Neil, known as Force Knight, bid $225, while washing the car.
Jessica, known as Ewok Master, bid $250, while vacuuming.
George, known as Lord Jabba, bid $200, while reading.
Monday’s Quizzler is….😎😎
Muffi, Maddie, Trixie, and Libby live for fashion. Together, they’ve sought the advice of the trendiest fashion guru. To their surprise, they found that they had been wearing the wrong type of clothing for years! The consultation consisted of measuring, color charting, body shape identification, and pattern choices for each woman. After the consultation each woman was given her correct dress size and the best pattern and color for her body shape. No woman was the same size or shape as another, nor did any share color or pattern choices. Can you determine the best look for each shopper? Dress sizes were 6, 8, 10, and 12. Body shapes were hourglass, pear, apple, and stick figure. Patterns were dots, solids, plaid, and stripes. Colors were pink, red, blue, and black.
Clues:
- The fashionista with the pear shaped body was the one who could wear plaid.
- Neither the girl who looked good in blue nor the one who shone in pink wore the largest size.
- Trixie is a size 10.
- Stripes looked good on the largest woman.
- Libby was smaller than Trixie, but larger than Maddie.
- The woman who looked good in pink polka dots had a stick figure.
- Neither the apple nor the hourglass looked good in blue.
- Trixie could not wear plaid or dots and Muffi was told to always wear red.
- Solid black looked great on the apple shaped woman.
- The stick figure is not the smallest woman, but she is smaller than the woman who now wears black.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:
https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.
CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store. 😳😳
The World According to the Eucman! 