WELCOME to TUESDAY MARCH 10th, 2026
Here’s The Story…..
One day, on the savannah, a lion, a cheetah, an elephant and a warthog were all sitting
around after their respective meals and discussing which species has the biggest potential for
success. The elephant suggested that they settle this, once and for all, and that they take a
cue from humans and test this by starting their own businesses, and then
checking in in a month to see who did best.
The Warthog decided to hire other warthogs to occupy the shadiest groves, and then
charged animals $5 to lay in the shade.
The Elephant built an elaborate harness for his back, and charged other animals $15 for elephant rides.
The Lion started a personal protection racket, offering gazelles protection from the lions in exchange for a fee of $10.
But the Cheetah had the best idea of all, starting a courier service, using his incredible speed
to bring messages from animal to animal, all across the savannah, for $20. Within weeks, all
the animals were using the Cheetah’s service to communicate, while the lion,
elephant, and warthog sat mostly idle.
Finally, a month had passed, and the elephant, cheetah, warthog, and lion met up again with
their bank statements to try and guess who might win. The Warthog had earned $150, the
Elephant had earned $185, the Lion had earned $200. But Cheetah’s bank statement showed
only $2. The other animals were shocked, because “Fast Cat Courier” was the most successful
business by far. The other animals asked Cheetah what went wrong.
“Business has been great,” the spotted cat said, “but alas, Cheetahs never prosper.”😮😮
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFUL TUESDAY people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
Puns for All Occasions…..
A photon checks into a hotel. The front desk asks if it has
any luggage. It replies “no, I’m traveling light”
I can’t stand Russian dolls. They’re so full of themselves.
Did you hear about the glass blower who
accidentally inhaled? He got stomach pane.
What do you call a snail that isn’t moving? An escar-stay.
Did you hear about the new corduroy pillowcases?
They’re really making headlines.
If you see an Apple Store get robbed,
does that make you an iWitness?
Why couldn’t the pony sing in the choir?
He was a little horse.
Did you hear about the woman who loved making archery supplies?
Every day she went to work, she quivered with joy!
The past, the present and the future
all walk into a bar. It was tense.
What’s the body temperature of a
Tauntaun? Luke Warm.
Why did the hipster burn his mouth on pizza?
Because he ate it before it was cool.
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
In German Prisoner-of-War camps, escapes were a a major problem, so they would try
to break the prisoners’ spirits by making them do mindless things. In particular, they
would make the prisoners stand in a line and all move their heads like a
clock back and forth and say, ‘tick tock tick tock.’
Some prisoners, unable to escape or otherwise change their situation, chose a very
subtle rebellion. They would do the head motions, but instead of ‘tick tock tick tock’,
they would wait until the guards were further down the line and switch to ‘tick tick tick.’
None of the guards noticed this was going on for many months, until finally, a young
lieutenant was caught ticking by a senior SS Captain walking behind the line.
The captain stopped the exercise, walked over, face-to-face with the young man, and
“A rebel. Vell, don’t vorry, ve have vays of making you tock.’😮😮
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!
What 1991 movie follows two women who go on the run after killing a man who attempted to assault one of them?
Answer: The correct answer was Thelma & Louise! ‘Thelma & Louise’ was released in 1991 and directed by Ridley Scott. The movie begins as a weekend getaway and then takes a hard left into outlaw territory. Louise shoots a man who is attempting to sexually assault Thelma. The two women realize that explaining the situation to the authorities is not going to end well. So they do the sensible thing, at least in the movies, and hit the road in a convertible. Susan Sarandon and Geena Davis turned in spectacular performances, and the final scene launched a million “whoa’s”, one very expensive freeze-frame, and at least one in-law who explained to all of us as the movie was ending that a car would never behave like that under those circumstances. (I believe his exact words were, “FALLACY! They must have used a ramp because it went UP!” Fun guy.) It also introduced a little-known actor named Brad Pitt, whose main job here was looking good and showing up unexpectedly. Wonder whatever happened to him.
Tuesdays Movie Trivia of the day!
Released in 1998, what romcom featuring Ben Stiller and Cameron Diaz centers on a man who tracks down his dream girl 13 years after a very unfortunate zipper malfunction ruins his prom date with her?
Monday’s Quizzler is….
You’ve been placed on a course of expensive medication in which you are to take one tablet of Sildenafil and one tablet of Citrate daily. You must be careful that you take just one of each because taking more of either can have serious side effects.
Taking Sildenafil without taking Citrate, or vice versa, can also be very serious, because they must be taken together in order to be effective. In summary, you must take exactly one of the Sildenafil pills and one of the Citrate pills at one time. Therefore, you open up the Sildenafil bottle, and you tap one Sildenafil pill into your hand. You put that bottle aside and you open the Citrate bottle. You do the same, but by mistake, two Citrates fall into your hand with the Sildenafil pill.
Now, here’s the problem. You weren’t watching your hand as the pills fell into it, so you can’t tell the Sildenafil pill apart from the two Citrate pills. The pills look identical. They are both the same size, same weight (10 micrograms), same color (Blue), same shape (perfect square), same everything, and they are not marked differently in any way.
What are you going to do? You cannot tell which pill is which, and they cost $300 a piece, so you cannot afford to throw them away and start over again. How do you get your daily dose of exactly one Sildenafil and exactly one Citrate without wasting any of the pills?
Answer: Carefully cut each of the three pills in half, and carefully separate them into two piles, with half of each pill in each pile. You do not know which pill is which, but you are 100% sure that each of the two piles now contains two halves of Citrate and half of Sildenafil. Now go back into the Sildenafil bottle, take out a pill, cut it in half, and add one half to each stack. Now you have two stacks, each one containing two halves of Sildenafil and two halves of Citrate. Take one stack of pills today, and save the second stack for tomorrow.
Tuesday’s Quizzler is….😎😎
Find a rhyme for each word below so you end up with a familiar three-word phrase in the form “, , and __”.
Example:
Clue = “Cook, Wine, Drinker”
Answer = “Hook, Line, and Sinker”
- Shop, Swap, Dole
- Mop, Slip, Thump
- Mud, Wet, Smears
- Sock, Rock, Carol
- Claim, Debt, Scratch
- Steady, Filling, Label
- Warning, Soon, Flight
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com:
https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.
CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store. 😳😳
The World According to the Eucman! 