WELCOME to FRIDAY MARCH 13th, 2026
Here’s The Story…..
The friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist
shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival
florist across town thought this was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down,
but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him.
So the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town
to “persuade” them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying
he’d be back if they didn’t close up shop.Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that:
Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars. 😮😮😂
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFUL WEEKEND people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
Puns for All Occasions…..
Did you hear that NASA recently put a bunch of Holsteins into low earth orbit?
They called it the herd shot ’round the world.
Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor.
The other stayed behind inthe cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one,
naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,
proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.
A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to
the bar and announces: “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.”
Did you hear about the Buddhist monk who refused Novocain during a
root canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication.
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing
in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After an hour,
the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. “But why?”
they asked, as they moved off. “Because,” he said,
“I can’t stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.” 😮😮
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!
Which drama released in 1997 stars Matt Damon as a troubled math
prodigy whose therapist helps him confront his past?
Answer: The correct answer was Independence Day! If you watched ‘Independence Day’ in a packed theater in 1996, you probably remember the audience cheering on at least three separate occasions. This movie decided subtlety was WAY overrated, and spectacle was where the money was. It worked. Aliens show up. Cities get vaporized. Bill Pullman gives a speech that somehow turns the Fourth of July into a global holiday. And somewhere in the middle of all that, Jeff Goldblum and Will Smith upload a computer virus to an alien mothership, a plot point that has launched a thousand IT jokes.
And then there is Randy Quaid’s Russell Casse. Crop duster, abductee, professional oddball, and ultimately, fighter pilot, Casse smells strongly of booze and bad decisions. Is it ridiculous? Oh yeah. Is it unforgettable? Pretty much, at least if you saw it at the time. How it aged is another question. But at least Randy Quaid and Will Smith could never attract any controversy.
Fridays Movie Trivia of the day!
Which drama released in 1997 stars Matt Damon as a troubled math prodigy whose therapist helps him confront his past?
Thursday’s Quizzler is….
(Estimate/Never)^(+Thinking) – 2
Answer: Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.
“Never” is under “estimate”, and this is raised “to the power of positive thinking.”
The “to” is removed by subtracting it at the end.
Thursday’s Quizzler is….😎😎
For her 60th birthday, Rosie’s five children were planning a grand surprise party in her honor. This was not easy for any of her children since each of them lived in a different city in northern California, so to make it easier for themselves, they each had a different responsibility. Each person was put in charge of a different aspect of the party planning, including arranging for the gift the group had selected — a mother’s ring set with the birthstones of all five siblings (no two siblings have the same birthstone). From the information provided, determine the city in which each person lives and the aspect of the party (including the music) he or she was in charge of planning, as well as the birthstone of each of Rosie’s children.
Person: Herbert, Irene, Kurt, Marie, Wendell
City: Crescent City, Quincy, Red Bluff, Sacramento, San Francisco
Aspect: Caterer, Gift, Hall, Invitations, Music
Birthstone: Amethyst, Aquamarine, Emerald, Peridot, Sapphire
- Exactly four of Rosie’s children — the Sacramento resident, the one with the peridot birthstone, the one in charge of hiring a caterer, and the one whose birthstone is emerald — are married.
- Three siblings who brought their spouses to the party are the resident of Quincy, the one who lives in Red Bluff, and Irene.
- Marie’s birthstone isn’t the sapphire.
- Neither the Sacramento resident (whose birthstone isn’t sapphire) nor Kurt (who was in charge of the gift) is the one whose birthstone is aquamarine (who is neither the resident of Crescent City nor the person who had the invitations printed).
- The San Francisco resident (who isn’t Wendell) isn’t the sibling who reserved a hall for the party.
- Neither Marie (who lives in Crescent City, and was not in charge of the invitations) nor the Quincy resident (whose birthstone isn’t aquamarine) is the one with the peridot birthstone.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com:
https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.
CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store. 😳😳
The World According to the Eucman! 