WELCOME to MONDAY MARCH 30th, 2026
Books that Should be Written Part TWO (and who should write them)
Neither a Borrower by Nora Linda Bee
Outdoor Entertaining by Patty Oh
Over the Mountaintop by Hugo First
Plumbing for Idiots by Duane Pipes
Predicting your Future by Horace Cope
Protect your Rights by Susan Liddy-Gates
Race to the Outhouse by Willie Makit, illustrated by Betty Wont
Running a Successful Dairy by Milka Macau
Russian Fleas by Ivan Éllovanich
Rusty Bedsprings by I. P. Knightly
Secrets of Handel’s Messiah by Ollie Luiah
Secrets of Spelling by Rita Book
See it Coming by Willie Duck
Surviving a Bear Attack by Claude Butz & McCann Hertz
Tanning by Sunny Day
Take this Job and Shove it by Gladys Friday
The Art of Discretion by Anonymous
The Art of Negotiation by Breton Woods
The Delights of Cognac by Brandy Wein •
The French Chef by Sue Flay
The Future of Robotics by Cy Borg and Anne Droide
The Happy Cyclist by Harley Davidson
The Healthy Prostate by I. P. Daley
The L. A. Lakers Breakfast by Kareem O’Wheat
The Long Walk Home by Misty Bus
The One that Got Away by Mr. Chance
The Population of France by Francis Crowded
The Epistles of Paul by Frank and Ernest Letterman
The Garden of Eatin’ by Adam N. Eave •
The Postman’s Revenge by Fowler Fairweather
The Scent of a Man by Jim Nasium
The South Before the War by Ann T. Bellam
The Tiger’s Revenge by Claude Butz
Thirty Terms in Congress by Jerry Mander
Too Many Bills? by Jes Burnham
Transportation in China by Rick Shaw
The Best City in Mexico by Vera Cruise
Turkish Cuisine by Sue Vlaki
Turn on Your Spellcheker! by Aaron Spelling •
Understanding Fashion by Maude Lynn Dresser
Understanding Tree Disease by C. Y. Elms-Dye
Unusual Window Decorations by Rod Curtains
Way Out West by Eugene Oregon
Weight-Lifting by Manley Guy
What Lonely Girls Should Do by Seymour Fellowes
What’s Wrong with your Car? by M. T. Tank
Where Have All the Animals Gone? by Darin Debarne
Whistle-Blower by Anita Job
Why Cleanliness is Important by Anita Bath, illustrated by Ivan Odor
Why Should I Walk? by Iona Carr
William Shakespeare by A. von Bourne-Reiter
Women in Trouble by May Day 
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT MONDAY ‘people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

PUNAGRAPHY……
A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tired.
A will is a dead giveaway.
A backward poet writes inverse.
In a democracy it’s your vote that counts; in feudalism, it’s your Count that votes.
A chicken crossing the road is pure poultry in motion.
If you don’t pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I’ll show you A-flat miner.
When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
The guy who fell into an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in Linoleum Blown-part.
You are stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.
Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
He broke into song because he couldn’t find the key.
A calendar’s days are numbered.
A lot of money is tainted: ‘Taint yours, and ‘taint mine.
A boiled egg is hard to beat.
He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
A plateau is a high form of flattery.
Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
When you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen the mall.
If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she’d dye.
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.
Acupuncture: a jab well done.
Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!
To err is human, to moo bovine.
Energizer Bunny arrested—charged with battery.
If life gives you llamas, make llamanade.
Despite rumors to the contrary, a mime is actually a very satisfying thing to waste.
A man’s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
A pessimist’s blood type is always b-negative.
My wife really likes to make pottery, but to me it’s just kiln time.
Dijon vu: the same mustard as before.
Practice safe eating—always use condiments.
Did Noah keep his bees in archives?
I fired my masseuse today. She just rubbed me the wrong way.
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.
I used to be a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the axe.
If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?
Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
Adolescence—when a lad forsakes his bosom buddy for a bosomed buddy.
Banning the bra was a big flop.
Sea captains don’t like crew cuts.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.
Two banks with different rates have a conflict of interest.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.
She criticized my apartment, so I knocked her flat.
Without geometry, life is pointless.
When you dream in color, it’s a pigment of your imagination.
Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
Reading whilst sunbathing makes you well-red.
When two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I.
 
 
 

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  
Which 1998 Coen Brothers cult comedy follows “The Dude” as he becomes
embroiled in a kidnapping plot after a case of mistaken identity?
 
Answer:  The correct answer was The Big Lebowski! 1998’s “The Big Lebowski” was written and directed by the Coen Brothers and stars Jeff Bridges as Jeffrey Lebowski, better known as The Dude, His Dudeness, Duder, or El Duderino (“if you’re not into the whole brevity thing”). He’s a laid-back Los Angeles slacker whose life revolves around bowling, White Russians, and his rug that really ties the room together.  

When he is mistaken for a wealthy man with the same name, The Dude is dragged into a strange scenario involving a missing trophy wife, dubious ransom money, and an increasingly bizarre cast of characters. John Goodman shines as Walter Sobchak, who can definitely get you a toe.

Mondays Movie Trivia of the day!  
What supernatural thriller released in 1999 is about a young boy who claims he can see
dead people and the psychologist trying to help him?

Friday’s Quizzler is….​
I’m seven times seventy,
Plus a decade more.
This has all happened before.
Red and gold, I am no liar.
My nursery will be made
From my funeral pyre.

Who am I?

Answer:  The phoenix!
The phoenix, in mythology, is a fabulous bird that periodically regenerated itself, used in literature as a symbol of death and resurrection. According to legend, the phoenix lived in Arabia; when it reached the end of its life (500 years), it burned itself on a pyre of flames, and from the ashes a new phoenix arose. As a sacred symbol in Egyptian religion, the phoenix represented the sun, which dies each night and rises again each morning. According to Herodotus, the bird was red and golden and resembled an eagle.
 
 

Monday’s Quizzler is….​😎😎
I am a set of three words, all with the same six letters.
First I am a kingdom, though not royally so.
Then spell me backwards, and I become a thin plate.
Now rearrange my consonants, leaving my vowels in place …
I am now a type of paper.

What are the words?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com:
https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.

CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.  😳😳