Welcome, to Friday, January 1st! Merry New Year, hey are you sick of making the same resolutions year after year that you never keep? Why not promise to do something you can actually accomplish? Here are some resolutions that you can use as a starting point: 1. Gain weight. At least 30 pounds. 2. Stop exercising. Waste of time. 3. Read less. Makes you think. 4. Watch more TV. I’ve been missing some good stuff. 5. Procrastinate more. Starting tomorrow. 6. Spend more time at work. 7. Stop bringing lunch from home: I should eat out more.  8. Get in a whole NEW rut! 9. Personal goal: Bring back disco. 10. Buy an ’83 Eldorado and invest in a really loud stereo system. 11. Speak in a monotone voice and only use monosyllabic words.  12. Only wear jeans that are 2 sizes too small and use a chain or rope for a belt. 13. Get further in debt. 14. Break at least one traffic law. 15. Associate with even worse business clients. 16. Spread out priorities beyond my ability to keep track of them. 17. Wait around for opportunity. 18. Focus on the faults of others. 19. Mope about my faults. And in the grand tradition of saving the best for last…20. Never make New Year’s resolutions again. “That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great day people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

Quotes of the Day

“Everybody likes a kidder, but nobody lends him money.” – Arthur Miller

“I’ve been trying for some time to develop a lifestyle that doesn’t require my presence.”
– Garry Trudeau

“No one can earn a million dollars honestly.” – William Jennings Bryan

A mission statement is defined as “a long, awkward sentence that demonstrates management’s inability to think clearly.” All good companies have one.

If it weren’t for the fact that the TV and the refrigerator are so far apart, some of us wouldn’t get any exercise at all.

“Inside every older person is a younger person — wondering what the hell happened.”
–Cora Harvey Armstrong

Joke of the Day*

About the time our original thirteen states adopted their new constitution in 1787, Alexander Tyler, a Scottish history professor at the University of Edinburgh, had this to say about the fall of the Athenian Republic some 2,000 years earlier: “A democracy is always temporary in nature; it simply cannot exist as a permanent form of government. “A democracy will continue to exist up until the time that voters discover they can vote themselves generous gifts from the public treasury. “From that moment on, the majority always vote for the candidates who promise the most benefits from the public treasury, with the result that every democracy will finally collapse due to loose fiscal policy, which is always followed by a dictatorship. “The average age of the world’s greatest civilizations from the beginning of history, has been about 200 years. During those 200 years, those nations always progressed through the following sequence:

1. From bondage to spiritual faith;

2. From spiritual faith to great courage;

3. From courage to liberty;

4. From liberty to abundance;

5. From abundance to complacency;

6. From complacency to apathy;

7. From apathy to dependence;

8. From dependence back into bondage

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? ‘You keep on using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.’ Answer: The Princess Bride. Great adaptation of a great book.

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???? ‘Why do I have to be Mr. Pink?’

Thursday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features the names of various song titles that share a word in common and are written back-to-back. What would you get if you combined a song from “The Muppet Movie” with one from “The Wizard of Oz”? Answer: Somewhere Over the Rainbow Connection. Two of my favorite movies as a little girl! “The Muppet Movie” was released in 1979. “Rainbow Connection” is sung by our favorite green friend, Kermit the Frog. The beautiful ballad “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” is known as the theme to the 1939 film “The Wizard of Oz”. Young Judy Garland gave a wonderful performance in the role of Dorothy Gale, and even as a singer in her later life, Judy reported that “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” was one of her top-requested songs to perform.

Friday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features the names of various song titles that share a word in common and are written back-to-back. This Peter Gabriel song was the love theme from 1989’s romantic comedy “Say Anything” while Billy Idol scored a hit with this 1980’s tune.
 

Thursday’s Quizzler is..
In this teaser, I have given you a 9-letter word. Your job is to break up this word into 9 separate letters and place them on the dashes to spell a 7-letter word, a 5-letter word, and a 3-letter word. You can use each letter only once.

TEMPORARY

_ N _ M _ R _

_ O _ O _

_ I _

ANSWER: 1. ANYMORE, 2. MOTOR, 3. RIP

Friday’s Quizzler is…
What is this rebus?

NOSE
your money
CHIN

Answers in MONDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.

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