Welcome, to Wednesday, January 6th! Today the Eucman brings you actual headlines: “Crack Found on Governor’s Daughter”

“Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash”

“Expert Says Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers”

“Iraqi Head Seeks Arms”

“Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?”

“Prostitutes Appeal to Pope”

“Panda Mating Fails, Veterinarian Takes Over”

“Teacher Strikes Idle Kids”

“Miners Refuse to Work after Death”

“Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant”

“War Dims Hope for Peace”

“If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile”

“Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures”

“Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide”

“Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges”

“Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead”

“Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge”

“New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group”

“Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft”

“Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy”

“Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors”

“That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am history, Eucman!

Quotes of the Day

“Confusion is always the most honest response.” – Marty Indik

“Humor is just another defense against the universe.” – Mel Brooks

“Humor is also a way of saying something serious.” – T. S. Eliot

Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil. – Jerry Garcia

Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.

– Henny Youngman

Joke of the Day*

One day, Adam sat outside the Garden of Eden shortly after eating the apple, and wondered about men and women. So looking up to the heavens he says, “Excuse me GOD, can I ask you a few questions?” GOD replied, “Go on Adam but be quick I have a world to create.” So Adam says,” When you created Eve, why did You make her body so curvy and tender unlike mine?” “I did that, Adam, so that you could love her.” “Oh, well then, why did You give her long, shiny, beautiful hair, and not me?” “I did that Adam so that you could love her.” “Oh, well then, why did You make her so stupid? Certainly not so that I could love her?” “Well Adam, no. I did that so that she could love you”
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Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? ‘Bubba’s got a girlfriend, Bubba’s got a girlfriend!’ Answer: Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2. Said by Leatherface’s twisted head-scratching brother while holding girl captive.

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???? ‘I’ve got something to say; it’s better to burn out than to fade away.’
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Tuesday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features the names of various song titles that share a word in common and are written back-to-back. The Red Hot Chili Peppers’ song about a bandmate’s death due to heroin and a big hit for Simon and Garfunkel. Answer:Under the Bridge Over Troubled Water. “Under the Bridge” is from the Red Hot Chili Peppers’ hit album “Blood, Sugar, Sex, Magik” of 1991, while “Bridge Over Troubled Water” was at the top of the charts for Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel in 1970.

Wednesday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features the names of various song titles that share a word in common and are written back-to-back. Which two British rock groups’ songs are joined in this back-to-back title: “Fat Bottomed Girls On Film” ?
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Tuesday’s Quizzler is..
A science teacher told his after school class, “Whoever can get this egg into this smaller glass bottle will win no homework for a week! The rules are: the egg has to go into the bottle in one piece, and you can’t break the bottle. You can also use anything in the science lab. So, do we have any volunteers?” A boy raised his hand and the teacher pointed at him. The boy took the egg and looked around the science lab for the things he could use. He saw some writing paper, a pack of matches, some vinegar, a sink, and the glass bottle. By the end of the after school class, the boy had gotten the egg into the smaller bottle.

How did he do it? Note that, without doing anything to the egg, the egg can’t fit into the bottle.

ANSWER: First, soak the egg in the vinegar which softens the shell without compromising the egg. Next, take some of the writing paper and shred it into pieces. Take the shredded pieces and put them into the glass bottle. Take a match and light a fire inside the bottle with the shredded paper. After, take the vinegar-soaked egg and put it on the top of the bottle so no oxygen can get into the bottle. The fire can’t live without any oxygen so it will try to suck oxygen from the entrance which the egg is blocking. When the fire does this, the fire becomes like a vacuum. So, basically, the fire sucks the egg into the bottle to try to get the oxygen. After a short while, the shell will reharden and that’s how the egg got into the bottle.

Wednesday’s Quizzler is…
There is a common English word that is nine letters long. Each time you remove a letter from it, it still remains an English word – from nine letters right down to a single letter. What is the original word, and what are the words that it becomes after removing one letter at a time?

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Answers in THURSDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com. YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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