Welcome, to Tuesday, February 2nd! How about a look at the top ten best one liners from George Burns?  1. Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
2. At my age flowers scare me.
3. Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
4. Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that’s down can come up.
5. First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
6. Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
7. Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman – or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
8. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
9. I can’t afford to die; I’d lose too much money.
10. I don’t believe in dying. It’s been done. I’m working on a new exit. Besides, I can’t die now – I’m booked.
11. I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
12. I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
  
That’s my story for today and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!   
  
Quotes of the Day   
“Rapper and cologne-maker Diddy gave his son, Justin Dior Combs, a $360,000 car for his 16th birthday. He must really do the heck out of his chores.” -Jimmy Kimmel
 
“Today is Mozart’s birthday. Mozart wrote over 600 pieces of classical music, best known for his master work, ‘Rock Me Amadeus.'” -Craig Ferguson
 
“A man in the UK was banned from a public park after he tried to have sex with a tree. I don’t know about you, but I think Al Gore has finally gone too far.” -Jimmy Fallon
 
”Bill Clinton revealed that he now supports same-sex marriage, even though he opposed it during his presidency. To be fair, during his presidency, he also opposed his own marriage.”    

Joke of the Day*

My husband, who is an auto mechanic, was on the kidney-transplant list.  As you can imagine, it was a tense time for our family. But one day, the phone rang and our teenage son answered.
It was the hospital with good news. “Dad” he yelled excitedly. “Your parts are in!” 

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Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? “Now you’ve got all the ones with beards on one side, and all the ones with moustaches on the other!” 

Answer: Erik the Viking. When organising a expedition in a lovely Viking longship, you have to wonder if this type of information is as important as Snori the Miserable claims it is! This movie stars Tim Robbins, John Cleese and Tim McInnery.   

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from???? “Are we having a Boo Radley moment?”

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Monday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs fromfrom 2006 try and identify which song or which artist.” “He ate a slice of Wonder bread and went right back to bed And history books forgot about us and the Bible didn’t mention us And the Bible didn’t mention us, not even once”  

ANSWER: Samson. By singer/songwriter (and not to be forgotten, pianist) Regina Spektor.
Fun facts: Her music has been used for several TV-shows. You might have heard either “Somedays” or “Samson” on “CSI:NY”, “Field Below” on “Criminal Minds”, “On The Radio” and “Fidelity” on “Grey’s Anatomy” etc. She also sang the title song for “Weeds”, called “Little Boxes”.    

Tuesday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2006 try and identify which song or which artist.” “When I was a young boy, My father took me into the city To see a marching band. He said, “Son when you grow up, will you be the saviour of the broken, The beaten and the damned?””

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Monday’s Quizzler is..

What phrase does this rebus represent?
TUDETATI
TUTATIDE
ATTUDITE
ATTITUDE

ANSWER: Attitude Adjustment 

 
Tuesday’s Quizzler is…

The two following quotes are from Mark Twain. Both quotes use the same code.

“YX WIN ASOO AZS ACNAZ WIN RIK’A ZTBS AI CSPSPESC TKWAZYKL.”

“AZS PTK UZI RISDK’A CSTR LIIR EIIGD ZTD KI TRBTKATLS IBSC AZS PTK UZI FTK’A CSTR AZSP.” 

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Answers in WEDNESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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