Welcome, to Monday, February 22th! How about a look at Actual Newspaper Headlines: Study Finds Sex, Pregnancy Link -Cornell Daily Sun, December 7, 1995
Whatever Their motives, Moms Who Kill Kids still Shock Us -Holland Sentinal, date unknown.
Survey Finds Dirtier Subways After Cleaning Jobs Were Cut -The New York Times, November 22
Larger Kangaroos Leap Farther, Researchers Find -The Los Angeles Times, November 2
“Light” meals are lower in fat, calories -Huntington Herald-Dispatch, November 30
Alcohol ads promote drinking -The Hartford Courant, November 18
Malls try to attract shoppers -The Baltimore Sun, October 22
Official: Only rain will cure drought -The Herald-News, Westpost, Massachusetts
Teen-age girls often have babies fathered by men -The Sunday Oregonian, September 24
Low Wages Said Key to Poverty -Newsday, July 11
Man shoots neighbor with machete -The Miami Herald, July 3
Tomatoes come in big, little, medium sizes -The Daily Progress, Charlottesville, Virginia, March 30
Dirty-Air Cities Far Deadlier Than Clean Ones, Study Shows -The New York Times, March 10
Man Run Over by Freight Train Dies -The Los Angeles Times, March 2
Scientists see quakes in L.A. future -The Oregonian, January 28
Wachtler tells graduates that life in jail is demeaning -The Buffalo News, February 26
Free Advice: Bundle up when out in the cold -Lexington Herald-Leader, January 26
Prosecution paints O.J. as a wife-killer -Fort Lauderdale Sun-Sentinel, January 25
Economist uses theory to explain economy -Collinsville Herald-Journal, February 8
Bible church’s focus is the Bible -Saint Augustine Record, Florida, December 3, 1994
That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday, people and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!
Quotes of the Day
“The French have given us many things: Mardi Gras, the Statue
of Liberty, French horns, sarcasm.” -Craig Ferguson
“In curling, they get a 40 lb. granite stone and send it down the ice and then they sweep the debris from in front of it. It’s all the fun of shuffleboard, plus household
chores.” -David Letterman
“American snowboarder Shaun White is incredible. I know I usually complain about young people and their non-aching hips and their functioning memories, but I take it all back.”
-Craig Ferguson
The Three Ages of Marriage: Twenty is when you watch the TV after. Forty is when you watch the TV during. Sixty is when you watch the TV instead.
Joke of the Day*
On my way to a picnic, I stopped at a fast-food place to order a quart of potato salad. “We don’t sell it by the quart,” the clerk snapped. “Okay, then give me two pints, please,” I replied. I’m proud to say I held my tongue when she asked, “Do you want it in one container?”
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Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from????’Bees! Bees everywhere! Oh my God, they’re here! They’re ripping my flesh off!… Run! Save yourselves! Your firearms are useless against them!’
Answer:Tommyboy. Chris Farley and David Spade. Need I say more?
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???? ‘Problem, guys?’
‘Just scoping out your civilian wardrobe.’ ‘Pretty cool, huh?’ ‘For a fashion victim.’
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Friday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs fromfrom 2006 try and identify which song or which artist.” “”Swear to shake it up, if you swear to listen Oh, we’re still so young, desperate for attention I aim to be your eyes, trophy boys, trophy wives”
ANSWER: The Only Difference Between Martyrdom And Suicide Is Press Coverage. Who else if not Panic! At the Disco? I love their song titles. My favorite title (the song is not bad either) is “Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off”. That one and another one of their songs, “But It’s Better If You Do”, are both quotes from the movie “Closer”.
Monday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2006 try and identify which song or which artist.” “You’re a masterpiece I know that he Can’t appreciate your beauty Don’t let him cheapen you”
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Friday’s Quizzler is..
I am periodically the number 79. Long ago some attempted to make me from 29, but learned it couldn’t be done. If you add me to 80 I appear to be 47 temporarily.
What am I?
ANSWER: Gold. Gold is represented by the number 79 on the Periodic table of elements. Long ago alchemists tried to make gold from copper.(number 29) If you add gold to mercury (number 80) it will appear to be silver for a time.
Monday’s Quizzler is…
Each group of three definitions describes three words that are spelled the same, except for one letter (each group describes a different set of words). Example: king, ring, wing.
1a) to wriggle
1b) a member of the British gentry
1c) a small forcible stream of liquid
2a) this color is a blend of red and yellow darkened by black
2b) the top of the head
2c) to cover with water
3a) more recent
3b) rubbish
3c) a written communication
4a) free from color
4b) a high-pitched plaintive cry
4c) although
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS GREAT JOB BANKS!
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Answers in TUESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com. YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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