Welcome,to Tuesday, March 16th! CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS? WOMEN DRIVERS! This morning on the Interstate, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new Cadillac doing 65 mph with her face up next to her rear view mirror, putting on her eyeliner.  I looked away for a couple seconds and when I looked back, she was halfway over in my lane, still working on that makeup.  As a man, I don’t scare easily, but she scared me so much, I dropped my electric shaver, which knocked the donut out of my other hand.  In all  the confusion of trying to straighten out the car using my knees against the steering wheel, it knocked my cell phone away from my ear. It fell into the coffee between my legs. Splashed, and burned Jim and the Twins, ruined the darn phone, soaked my trousers, and disconnected an important call. Hey I’m just saying. Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!   
   
Quotes of the Day 

“The richest man in the world is now Carlos Slim from Mexico. When I heard that name, I thought it was a new Mexican weightloss program.” -Jay Leno
 
“A new study says that women who drink moderate amounts of alcohol every day lose more weight than women that don’t drink at all. At least, that’s what your wife will slur to you after she forgets to pick up the kids from soccer practice.” -Jimmy Kimmel
 
“Facebook has a new application that helps users quit smoking. After that, people can move on to finding a cure for their other addiction — Facebook.” -Jimmy Fallon      
   
Joke of the Day* 

A screenwriter comes home to a burned down house. His sobbing wife is standing outside. “What happened, honey?” the man asks. “Oh, John, it was terrible,” she weeps. “I was cooking when the phone rang. It was your agent. Because I was on the phone, I didn’t notice the stove had caught on fire. It went up in seconds. Everything is gone. I nearly didn’t make it out of the house. Poor Fluffy is gone……..” “Wait! Back up a minute,” the man says. “My agent called?”  
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Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from????  “Where is he, your mother!”

Answer: Three Fugitives. This quote was from “Three Fugitives” starring Martin Short and Nick Nolte. They dress Martin Short up as a woman and his daughter as a boy to avoid the cops. He takes a while coming out of the house while Nick and the daughter are waiting for him and that’s what Nick says.
 
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from???? “Cute! Baby ducks are cute. I want to be exotic.”
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Monday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2006, try and identify which song or which artist.” “…then the drinks start pourin’ and my speech starts slurrin’…”

ANSWER: “London Bridge” Fergie. Fergie’s album is entitled “The Dutchess”.   

Tuesday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2006 try and identify which song or which artist.” “I can see us holding hands, walking on the beach our toes in the sand…
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Monday’s Quizzler is..  
The following humorous quotes are from various people. Try and decipher them. R=H and X=V

WRSI UQUCYKQFB SI XCYO SDWCYCIWSDE, KMW S TSDN SW PSZZ DCXCY YCUZQFC Q RQYNFJXCY KJJB- SW VQBCI Q XCYO UJJY NJJYIWJU.

S FJMZND’W YCVCVKCY PRCD S RQN KCCD IJ NSIQUUJSDWCN. CGFCUW UCYRQUI WRC WSVC S TJMDN JMW WRQW V&VI YCQZZO NJ VCZW SD OJMY RQDN…

S QV WPJ PSWR DQWMYC.
        
ANSWER: THIS PAPERBACK IS VERY INTERESTING, BUT I FIND IT WILL NEVER REPLACE A HARDCOVER BOOK- IT MAKES A VERY POOR DOORSTOP. ~Alfred Hitchcock

I COULDN’T REMEMBER WHEN I HAD BEEN SO DISAPPOINTED. EXCEPT PERHAPS THE TIME I FOUND OUT THAT M&MS REALLY DO MELT IN YOUR HAND… ~Peter Oakley

I AM TWO WITH NATURE. ~Woody Allen  
 
Tuesday’s Quizzler is…

In this teaser, your job is to try and discover the car model within each sentence.  The model is hiding in the consecutive letters within a sentence.
Example: This recipe calls for only one onion.
Answer: Neon (oNE ONion)

1. The zookeeper gave the chimp a large banana.
2. The police had the home of the pyromaniac cordoned off.
3. There are galactic areas where our starship has not travelled.
4. Do math majors find people with a nice compass attractive?
5. I once saw a gambler from Mexico roll a seven five times in a row.  

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