Welcome, to Wednesday, March 17th! Gifts For Him written by Ima Woman. 
If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car. A 99-cent ice scraper, a small bottle of de-icer or something to hang from his rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars. No one knows why.

If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words. “Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?” “OK. By-the-
way, are you through with my 3/8-inch socket yet?” No one knows why.

When in doubt – buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to complain. As a man, you can never have too many
cordless drills. Again, no one knows why.

Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties. And never buy men bathrobes. I was told that if God had wanted men to wear bathrobes, he wouldn’t have invented Jockey shorts.

You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they have worn out. If you have a lot of money buy your man a big-screen TV with the little picture in the corner. Watch him go wild as he flips, and flips, and flips.

Do not buy a man any of those fancy liqueurs. If you do, it will sit in a cupboard for 23 years. Real men drink whiskey or beer.

Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of after shave or deodorant. I’m told they do not stink – they are earthy.

Buy men label makers. Almost as good as cordless drills. Within a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere. “Socks. Shorts. Cups. Saucers. Door. Lock. Sink.”
You get the idea. No one knows why.

Never buy a man anything that says “some assembly required” on the box. It will ruin his Special Day and he will always have parts left over.

Good places to shop for men include Northwest Iron Works, Parr Lumber, Home Depot, John Deere, Valley RV Center, and Les Schwab Tire. (NAPA Auto Parts and Sears’ Clearance
Centers are also excellent men’s stores. It doesn’t matter if he doesn’t know what it is. “From NAPA Auto,eh? Must be something I need. Hey! Isn’t this a starter for a ’68 Ford
Fairlane? Wow! Thanks.”

Men enjoy danger. That’s why they never cook – but they will barbecue. Get him a monster barbecue with a 100-pound propane tank. Tell him the gas line leaks. “Oh the thrill! The
challenge! Who wants a hamburger?”

Tickets to a Patriots game are a smart gift. However, he will not appreciate tickets to “A Retrospective of 19th Century Quilts.” Everyone knows why.

Men love chainsaws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a chainsaw. If you don’t know why – please refer to Rule #8 and what happens when he gets a label maker.

It’s hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum extension ladder. Never buy a real man a step ladder. It must be an extension ladder. No one knows why.

Rope. Men love rope. It takes us back to our cowboy origins, or at least The Boy Scouts. Nothing says love like a hundred feet of 3/8″ manilla rope. No one knows why.  
 
Hey I’m just saying. Have a great Wednesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!   
   
Quotes of the Day 

“Last week, the temperature was in the 20s and yesterday it got up to 59 degrees. It’s crazy, I keep having to change my outfit and my position on global warming.” -Jimmy Fallon
 
“It was on this day that Julius Caesar was stabbed in the back by members of the senate, ironically, while pleading for healthcare.” -Jay Leno
 
“Daylight Savings begins on Sunday, which means we lose an hour. But if you watch this show, you’re used to it.” -Craig Ferguson
    
Joke of the Day* 

After shopping for weeks, I finally found the car of my dreams. It was only two years old and in beautiful condition. The salesman asked if I would like to take it for a test drive. We had traveled no more than two miles when the car broke down. The salesman called for a tow truck.  When it arrived, we climbed into the front seat. While the driver was hooking up the car, the salesman turned to me with a smile and said, “Well, now, what is it going to take to put you behind the wheel of that beauty today?” 
____________________________________________________________________________________
 
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from????  “Cute! Baby ducks are cute. I want to be exotic.” 

Answer: Bull Durham. Another Susan Sarandon quote. This movie also starred Tim Robbins and Kevin Costner. Susan said this quote to Tim when she was trying to seduce him and it wasn’t working. He said she was cute and that was her reply.  
 
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from????  “He’s beaten me, tortured me, and I think you’re next, dear.”
____________________________________________________________________________
 
Tuesday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2006, try and identify which song or which artist.” “I can see us holding hands, walking on the beach our toes in the sand…
 
ANSWER: This is “My Love”, by Justin Timberlake.    

Wednesday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2006 try and identify which song or which artist.” “…show me a garden that’s bursting into life…”
____________________________________________________________________________ 
 
Tuesday’s Quizzler is..  
In this teaser, your job is to try and discover the car model within each sentence.
The model is hiding in the consecutive letters within a sentence.
Example: This recipe calls for only one onion.
Answer: Neon (oNE ONion)
1. The zookeeper gave the chimp a large banana.
2. The police had the home of the pyromaniac cordoned off.
3. There are galactic areas where our starship has not travelled.
4. Do math majors find people with a nice compass attractive?
5. I once saw a gambler from Mexico roll a seven five times in a row.         

ANSWER: 1. Impala (chIMP A LArge), 2. Accord (pyromaniAC CORDoned)
3. Regal (aRE GALactic), 4. Passat (comPASS ATtractive), 5.Corolla (MexiCO ROLL A)   
 
Wednesday’s Quizzler is…
Unscramble the words below, and take the letters from each word as instructed:
LNEAC Take letters 2 and 4
IREPSTGE Take letters 1,4 and 6
MLACP Take letters 2 and 3
OGOLOYZ Take letters 1 and 4
INNUO Take letters 1 and 3
Unscramble the letters you collected… what do you get? 

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS AND SWEETJAZZ5!  BRILLIANT SOLVING JOB LADIES! 

=================================================================
Answers in THURSDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT:  www.slampi.org.  ww.hopeBUILD.org. www.Eucmaninc.com. www.wcscatering.com., www.Beaumont77.com. www.BTWASHZPROD.com.   www.newnorthsideconferencecenter.net.  www.greengrassgroundsgroup.com., www.schoons.com., www.awj-law.com.