Welcome, to Tuesday May 4th. Funny Analogies…….. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while. 

He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something. 

Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can tell butter from I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter. 

She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up. 

It came down the stairs looking very much like something no one had ever seen before. 

The knife was as sharp as the tone used by Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee (D-Tex.) in her first several points of parliamentary procedure made to Rep. Henry Hyde (R-Ill.) in the House Judiciary Committee
hearings on the impeachment of President William Jefferson Clinton. 

The dandelion swayed in the gentle breeze like an oscillating electric fan set on medium. 

He felt like he was being hunted down like a dog, in a place that hunts dogs, I suppose. 

The lamp just sat there, like an inanimate object. 

You know how in “Rocky” he prepares for the fight by punching sides of raw beef? Well, yesterday it was as cold as that meat locker he was in. 

He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up. 

Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in any PH cleanser. 

She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature beef. 

She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs. 

It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall. 

Her voice had that tense, grating quality, like a first-generation thermal paper fax machine that needed a band tightened. 

A branch fell from the tree like a trunk falling off an elephant. 

The painting was very Escher-like, as if Escher had painted an exact copy of an Escher painting. 

Fishing is like waiting for something that does not happen very often. 

They were as good friends as the people on “Friends.” 

He was as bald as one of the Three Stooges, either Curly or Larry, you know, the one who goes woo woo woo. 

Her eyes were shining like two marbles that someone dropped in mucus and then held up to catch the light. 

The sunset displayed rich, spectacular hues like a .jpeg file at 20 percent cyan, 10 percent magenta, 60 percent yellow and 10 percent black.  Hey I’m just saying! Have a great day people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!    
   
Quotes of the Day 

“Miami was voted the worst road rage city. You have 20-year- olds doing 95, and 95-year-olds doing 20, that’s why.”
-Craig Ferguson 
 
“According to Blender magazine, the average person spends three years of their life in the bathroom. Do you know what’s
really pathetic? If it turned out those were the best years of your life.” -Jay Leno 
 
“Colombian pop singer Shakira was in Phoenix to join the fight against Arizona’s tough new immigration law. It
reminds me a lot of the ’80s, when the Beastie Boys came to Arizona to fight for our right to party.” -Jimmy Kimmel 

Guaranteed to make you laugh.. 

Another man and I share a locker at work. Noticing that it needed a new combination lock, my partner said he would pick
one up on his way to work the next day. It occurred to me later that I might not see him in the morning. How would I
find out the combination? I needn’t have worried.  When I arrived at work I found that he had used the locker
before me and had left a note reading: “To find the first number subtract 142 from your high score the last time we
went bowling. The second number is 16 less than that. To find the third number subtract 1.87 from the amount you owe
me.” 

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Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? “You’re the first woman I’ve seen in one of these things that dresses like a woman, not like a woman thinks a man would dress if he was a woman.” 

Answer: Working Girl. These words were said by Jack to Tess, during the merger party. The plot of the 1988 film “Working Girl” revolved around an ambitious career woman, Tess McGill, (played by Melanie Griffith). After being misled by a colleague, Tess decided to take matters into her own hands and, with her boss out of the office, concocted a plan to get herself promoted. 

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from???? “Do you know what everyone says about you behind your back? Hmm? They say that you’re a homeschooled jungle freak, that’s a less hot version of me!” __________________________________________________________________________________________________ 
Monday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2006, try and identify which song or which artist.”  “I don’t gotta rap, I can sell a mil’ sayin’ nothing on the track” 

ANSWER: This Is Why I’m Hot. “This Is Why I’m Hot” debuted on the Billboard Hot 100 in the first week of February, 2007 and, five short weeks later, it reached the top and spent two weeks there. The song also reached number one on the Hot Raps Tracks chart and number two on the Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Songs chart. It samples a number of hip-hop tunes including “Nuthin’ But a ‘G’ Thang” and “Jesus Walks”. In Billboard’s year-end survey for 2007, “This Is Why I’m Hot” landed at number sixteen among the year’s biggest hits.       

Tuesday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2006 try and identify which song or which artist.” “I mean she even cooks me pancakes, an Alka-Seltzer when my tummy aches, if that ain’t love then I don’t know what love is”

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Monday’s Quizzler is..   

In this teaser you are required to find a word relating to mathematics hiding in consecutive letters within each sentence. Have fun! Example: “They knew that they had done the wrong thing.” Answer: ADD located in: “…hAD Done…”

1. He gave his pet serpent a gondola ride.
2. How did the koala cub end up with the kangaroo?
3. Did the kind entomologist pamper centipedes?
4. The scholarship includes tuition but does not cover textbooks.

 ANSWER: 1. PENTAGON (serPENT A GONdola)
2. CUBE (CUB End)
3. PERCENT (pamPER CENTipedes)
4. VERTEX (coVER TEXt)   

 Tuesday’s Quizzler is…  

Beginning with “de”, add letters from the given pool to create a seven-letter word which means “to withhold something”. Do not rearrange the letters as you go.

Pool: E R V P I

1) DE
2) _ _ _
3) _ _ _ _
4) _ _ _ _ _
5) _ _ _ _ _ _
6) _ _ _ _ _ _ _

The hint gives definitions/clues for each additional word.  

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS!  GREAT SOLVING JOB ANDREA!     

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Answers in WEDNESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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