Welcome, to Thursday May 5th.  Deep Thoughts about Women…….. Why is it that no matter what color of bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? 

Is there ever a day when mattresses are NOT on sale? 

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with the hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? 

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give their vacuum one more chance? 

How do those dead bugs get into closed light fixtures? 

Why do we wash BATH towels? Aren’t we clean when we use them? If not then what was the purpose of the bath? 

Considering all the lint you get in your dryer, if you kept drying your clothes would they eventually just disappear? 

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say ‘It’s all right’? It isn’t all right, so why don’t we say, ‘That hurt, you stupid idiot?’ 

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that’s falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over? 

Is it true that the only difference between a yard sale and a trash pickup is how close to the road the stuff is placed? 

In winter, why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat? 

Why do women always ask questions that have no right answers? 

Why do old men wear their pants higher than younger men? 

Why is it that inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the heck happened? 

Why are the needy only thought of during the holidays? Aren’t they just as needy throughout the rest of the year? 

Why is it that men can react to broken bones as ‘just a sprain’ and deep wounds as ‘just a scratch,’ but when they get the sniffles they are deathly ill ‘with the flu’ and have to be bedridden for weeks? 

How come we never hear any father-in-law jokes? 

Why do men forget everything and women remember everything? 

Do Chinese people get hungry an hour after they eat American food? 

Shouldn’t all married men forget their mistakes? After all there’s no sense in two people remembering the same things right? 

Is the real reason women live longer then men because they don’t have to live with women? 

If at first you don’t succeed, shouldn’t you try doing it like your wife told you to?
 
Hey I’m just saying! Have a great Thursday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!    

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Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from????  “I thought I was headed to a place that would turn out tomorrow’s leaders, not their wives!” 

Answer: Mona Lisa Smile. These words were said by Katherine Watson to her colleague, Bill Dunbar, following her realisation that the most intelligent young women in her class wanted nothing more than to perform the stereotypical role of wife and mother.  The plot of the 2003 film, “Mona Lisa Smile” revolved around art teacher, Katherine Watson’s (played by Julia Roberts) experiences teaching at Wellesley College. After being frowned upon for her unorthodox methods, and refusing to mollycoddle newly married pupils, Katherine set out to teach her students that it was possible to marry and have a career.    

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from???? “Girlie, as far as you’re concerned, I am the messiah of the DMV.” __________________________________________________________________________________________________ 
Wednesday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2006, try and identify which song or which artist.”  “You know how long I’ve been on ya, since Prince was on Apollonia, since O.J. had Isotoners”

ANSWER: Stronger.  “Stronger” by Kanye West debuted on the U.S. pop charts on August 11th, 2008. In its second week, the song flew up the chart from number 47 to number 6 and six weeks later took over the top spot to become West’s third number one single following Slow Jamz and Gold Digger. It fared well internationally topping the chart in Canada, New Zealand and the United Kingdom. The song also garnered accolades including winning West a Grammy for “Best Solo Rap Performance”. It samples the Daft Punk song “Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger” which itself won a Grammy one year later for “Best Dance Recording”.  “Good Life” reached number seven for Kanye West in 2007. Akon and Eminem came together for the number two smash “Smack That”. “Purple Rain” went to number two for Prince in 1984.       

Thursday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2006 try and identify which song or which artist.” “I ain’t got the time and if my daddy thinks I’m fine”
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Wednesday’s Quizzler is..   

Each of the following song titles starts with the letter N. Can you decode them? Each of the songs is in the form of an anagram.
1. Eye Union Look
2. Avenue Penguin Groovy
3. Average Inn
4. Brown En   

ANSWER: 1. “No One Like You” by The Scorpions
2. “Never Gonna Give You Up” by Rick Astley
3. “Never Again” by Nickelback
4. “Newborn” by Muse 

Thursday’s Quizzler is…   

Find the names of 5 planets hidden in the following sentences:

1. “What hurts?” asked the doctor. “It’s my ear,” the patient cried.

2. “Steven, use the screwdriver to build those shelves.”

3. Everyone takes a turn during Monopoly.

4. “Cassie, you ran us over with your bicycle!”

5. “Sam, arsenic is poisonous. I read the definition in the dictionary.”  

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO SWEETJAZZ5!  GREAT JOB JAZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!     

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Answers in FRIDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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