Welcome, to Tuesday May 18th.  With airlines adding fees to fees, The Week magazine asked its readers to predict the next surcharge they’ll levy for something previously free.

1. In the unlikely event of loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will drop down. To start the flow of oxygen, simply insert your credit card…

2. $100 On-Time Departure Fee; $25 Delay Complaint Fee.

3. View seating (formerly window seats), $10; Access seating (formerly aisle seats), $10 $20 to use roll-away stairs to enter or exit the aircraft in lieu of no-charge rope-ladder alternative.

4. $9 fee for bumping your head on the overhead bin as you take your seat; $3 additional penalty for looking up at the bin after you bump into it. Hey I’m just saying! Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!    

q u o t e s  o f  t h e . d a y 

“Greece is a relatively small country, much like a state in the U.S. But it overspent and over-borrowed, promised expensive pension plans, overtaxed, and it over-regulated business. So the state it would be here is California.” -Jay Leno
 
“President Obama said that we rely too much on gadgets. He gave a passionate speech about technology, but he had to stop when the teleprompter broke.” -Craig Ferguson
 
“A physics professor recently noticed a 99-year-old error in the Oxford English Dictionary that mistakenly defines the word ‘siphon.’ In response, Oxford has sent the man a certificate, which correctly defines the word ‘nerd.'”
-Jimmy Fallon
 
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes   
As a new paratrooper, I was struck by all the T-shirts on base emblazoned with the motto “Death from above!” Later I noticed a submariner with a T-shirt that declared “Death from below!”  Then, standing in line for chow one day, I was served by an Army cook. His T-shirt had a skull with a crossed fork and spoon underneath and yet another warning: “Death from within!”

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Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? “Sam, you’re always going to be the guy at the restaurant, who, when he gets what he ordered, decides he wants what the other guy has instead.”     

Answer: Picture Perfect.  These words were said by Kate Mosley to Sam, at the end of the film, after the former finally realized that the latter would never be the man for her. The plot of the 1997 film, “Picture Perfect”, revolved around the casual relationship between good girl, Kate Mosley (Jennifer Aniston) and roguish office charmer, Sam Mayfair (Kevin Bacon). After inventing a fake relationship with a man named Nick, Kate got promoted, and also secured the affections of office scoundrel, Sam. However things soon got complicated for her, after the man she had labeled as her boyfriend was suddenly thrust into the limelight in a most unexpected fashion, forcing Kate to get even more inventive.   

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from???? “Well, Mr. Snelgrove, I happen to know that in the future I will not have the slightest use for algebra, and I speak from experience.”

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Monday’s Crazy definitions, this quiz features popular songs from 2007, try and identify which song or which artist.” “What you said when you left just left me cold and out of breath. I fell too far, was in way too deep, guess I let you get the best of me.”  

ANSWER: “Over You” – Daughtry. Chris Daughtry placed fourth in the fifth season of “American Idol”.        

Tuesday’s Crazy definitions, this quiz features popular songs from 2007 try and identify which song or which artist.” “The rain is falling on my window pane but we are hiding in a safer place under covers staying safe and warm you give me feelings that I adore”?

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Monday’s Quizzler is..   

What expression is hidden here?
Happiness: Sprinting and shouting “Lalalalalala!”
Sadness: Jogging quickly and screaming “Woo yay woo yay”
Elation: Bounding along cackling “Heeeeheeeeheeee”

ANSWER: Emotions are running wild    

Tuesday’s Quizzler is…  

Six words have had their weapons removed. The weapons have been placed into Group A. The remaining letters of each word have been placed into Group B. Your task is to reconstitute the words by merging each weapon with the proper set of letters. Other than merging the two groups together, there is no rearranging of the letters. Example: sand + pne = spanned (SpANneD).

Group A: bomb, gun, mace, rifle, saber, spear
Group B: ainale, ltto, niur, tiliz, toiat, urntual 

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Answers in WEDNESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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