Welcome,to Tuesday June 1st.  Here are today’s daily ponderings…… 
The severity of the itch is proportional to inability to the reach it.
Two wrongs are only the beginning.
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
A fool and his money are soon partying.
Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it’s the scenic route.
It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.
It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.
Hey I’m just saying! Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here! 
 
q u o t e s  o f  t h e  d a y 

“For sale,” read the ad in our hospital’s weekly newsletter, “sleeveless wedding gown, white, size 8, veil included. Worn once, by mistake.” 
 
When hiring new staff at the public library, I always ask applicants what sort of supervision they’d be most comfortable with. One genius answered, “I’ve always thought Superman’s X-ray vision would be cool.”
 
My niece was thrilled to hear that a new car wash was opening up in her neighborhood. “How convenient,” she said. “I can walk to it!” 

“Dogs in Britain are being trained to sniff out diabetes when their owners’ blood sugar drops. They’re great at it, but only when diabetes is in your crotch.” -Jimmy Fallon
 
“According to the latest census survey, the number of people without health insurance has dropped by two million. Duh, they’re dead because they didn’t have health insurance.” –Jay Leno  
 
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes 
One of our projects at military leadership school called for us to speak in front of the class on a topic picked by our instructor. A classmate gave an impassioned speech on the benefits of drinking liquor. Alcohol, he insisted, warded off colds, kept you alert, and even made you steadier on your feet. “Good job,” said our instructor when he finished. “Only one thing: Your topic was the benefits of drinking liquids, not liquor.”
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Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from????  “Imagine! My little girl… regular, at last.”  

Answer: Hairspray! These words were said by Edna Turnblad, on finding out that her daughter, Tracy, was going to become a regular cast member of the “The Corny Collins Show”.
The plot of the 2007 film, “Hairspray”, revolved around plump Tracy Turnblad’s dream of securing a coveted spot as a dancer on Baltimore’s “Corny Collins Show”. Once Tracy had achieved this feat, she didn’t stop there, and strove to eliminate the show’s “Negro Day”, in favour of integration.   

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from????  “You kinda look like a shiny mermaid.”

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Friday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2007, try and identify which song or which artist.”  “No need to worry about everything I’ve done, live every second like it was my last one,” 

ANSWER: “Tattoo”- Jordin Sparks! Jordin Sparks was the winner of the season six of “American Idol”, becoming the youngest winner up to that time. “Tattoo” is from her self-titled album, which was released on November 20, 2007.         

Tuesday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2007 try and identify which song or which artist.” “I’m gonna trade this life for fortune and fame, I’d even cut my hair and change my name.” 

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Friday’s Quizzler is..  

The following pairs of words can be unscrambled to make two words that go together, like “this & that.” All pairs follow the same theme. Can you determine what they say?
DARK BOG = ______ + ______
COW MEAT = ______ + ______
ASHES SINK = ______ + ______
BRANDY YOKE = ______ + ______

Answer:  Dog Bark, Cat Meow, Snake Hiss, Donkey Bray   

Tuesday’s Quizzler is…  

Each of the sentences below use two words which are synonyms of each other, but here in these sentences, they are not used with the same meaning. Can you find the words ?

1. He could not _____ out the _____ which would complete the series in the math teaser.

2. A _____ of her long hair was dangerously _____ to the fireplace.

3. Alas, we could not pay our respects to the _____ Mr. Bigsby. We were _____ by traffic.

4. _____ you open that ____ of beans, please ?

5. Life was a _____, after all, for 20 years all he had done was _____ for the oil company. 

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO SWEETJAZZ5! INCREDIBLE JOB JAZZZZZ!  

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Answers in WEDNESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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