‏to Tuesday July 20th. How To Deal with Telemarketers…….. 1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money. 

2. If they start out with, “How are you today?” say, “I’m so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died…” 

3. If they say they’re John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work, are they married?, kids?, etc. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary. 

4. Cry out in surprise,”Judy! Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?” Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where she could know you from. 

5. Say “No”, over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up. 

6. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, “I don’t have any friends… would you be my friend?” 

7. After the Telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your credit card number to a complete stranger. 

8. Tell the Telemarketer that you work for the same company, they often can’t sell to employees. 

9. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a Telemarketer, set the receiver down, shout or scream, “Oh No!!!” and then hang up. 

10. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask him/her if he/she will give you his/her HOME phone number so you can call him/her back. When the Telemarketer explains that telemarketers cannot give out their HOME numbers you say “I guess you don’t want anyone bothering you at home, right?” The Telemarketer will agree and you say, “Me, either!” Hang up. Hey I’m just saying! Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here! 
 
q u o t e s  o f  t h e  d a y 

“I just went shark-diving in the Bahamas. If you’ve never been to the Bahamas, imagine Fantasy Island but without the midget.” -Craig Ferguson
 
“Exciting news from the Norwegian University of Science and Technology. The Norwegians released a study today that says having a sense of humor can help people live longer. In other words, if you don’t laugh at this monologue tonight, you’re going to die.” -Jimmy Kimmel
 
“Here’s some good news – a woman in Milwaukee gave birth to a 13 pound 12 ounce baby girl last week. Thirteen pound 12 ounces. Doctors say the baby will be walking before the mother.” –Jay Leno 

“What’s the first thing a little girl wants when she gets a new bike? A basket–she’s prepared to shop. What’s the first thing a boy wants on his bike? A bell or horn–he’s prepared for traffic. “What’s the first toy a little girl wants? A doll–she’s prepared to shop with friends. What’s the first toy a little boy wants? A gun–he’s prepared for traffic.” –Jason Chase 
G u a r a n t e e d  t o  R o l l  Y o u r  E y e s

When we finished a personality assessment at work, I asked my friend Dan if he would share the results with his wife.  “That would require me to go home and say, ‘Hi, honey. I just paid someone $400 to tell me what’s wrong with me,'” he said. “And based on that, considering we’ve been married 23 years, she’d hand me a bill for about $798,000.” 

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Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? Truvy: “I kind of like hiring somebody with a past.” Clairee: “She can’t be more than eighteen. She hasn’t had time to have a past.” Truvy: “Oh get with it, Clairee. This is the eighties. If you can achieve puberty, you can achieve a past.”

Answer: Steel Magnolias! This was an 1989 film directed by Robert Harling. These lines were spoken between actresses Dolly Parton and Olympia Dukakis in regards to Dolly’s character hiring Daryl Hannah’s character. This heart felt drama is about a beauty shop, in Louisana owned by Truvy, and the lives of all of her clients. An all star cast makes this movie so great. Have your tissues ready. It will make you laugh but also make you cry.  

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from???? “I love the smell of napalm in the morning. It smells like victory.”   

TODAY’S MOVIE DIVIA AWARD GOES TO MS. KIM HILLYARD! GREAT JOB KIM!  

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 Monday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2008, try and identify which song or which artist.” “Come, run, run, run, run, everybody move, run, let me see you move, run, rock it to the groove, done…”   

ANSWER: Pon De Replay! Rihanna first made her appearance on American pop charts on June 11th, 2005 when “Pon De Replay” debuted at number 97. The song peaked at number two on July 30th and remained there for three weeks. It spent eleven weeks in the top ten, 23 weeks in the top 40 and a total of 27 weeks on the Hot 100. A worldwide smash, it reached the top ten in over a dozen countries including reaching number one in New Zealand.   

Tuesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2005 try and identify which song or which artist.” “Feeling all out of my element, throwing things, crying, trying to figure out where the hell I went wrong…”

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Monday’s Quizzler is..  

Hidden in each sentence is a word. For example, in the sentence: When I grow up, I want to be a ranger. (Hidden animal) The hidden word is BEAR from “to BE A Ranger”. Now, try to identify the hidden colors in the sentences below:

I agree not to eat all the food.
Bob decided to jump in, knowing that this is his only choice.
The sunset makes Cairo seem magnificent.
Some states ship lumber and coal on canal barges.  

Answer:Green. i aGREE Not to eat all the food.
Pink.
bob decided to jumP IN, Knowing that this is his only choice.
Rose.
the sunset makes caiRO SEem magnificent.
Plum.
Some states shiP LUMber and coal on canal barges.  

Tuesday’s Quizzler is…  

What does this rebus represent?
ABDFGHJKLMNOPQRSUVXYZ 

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO SWEETJAZZ5 AND MS. KIM HILLYARD!   WAY2GO LADIES!

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