Welcome, ‏to Wednesday August 11th. Signs and notices 01. These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations.

Found written on the wall in front of a photocopier of a company going through hardships : ” DOUBLE YOUR PLEASURE – XEROX YOUR PAYCHECKS ”

At a car dealership in Maryland to announce new seat belt legislation: “Belt your family. It’s the law.”

Seen while traveling in the Yucatan Peninsula: “Broken English spoken perfectly”

At an Applebee’s restaraunt: “NOTICE: AFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY! A new 6% tax will be charged for the cost of collecting taxes!”

Fitness Center sign: “Self Esteem is feeling good about yourself – regardless of the facts.”

In restaurant: “Open seven days a week and weekends.”

On the freeway in Boston during a MAJOR transformation of the streets and bridges, etc: “Rome wasn’t built in a day. If it was we would have hired their contractor.”

A sign in front of an advertising agency in south superhighway, Philippines: “A BUSINESS WITH NO SIGN IS A SIGN OF NO BUSINESS”

A sign in front of a Macadamia Nut Factory in Hawaii: “Caution: Nuts crossing road.” Hey I’m just saying! Have a great Wednesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!  
 
Q u o t e s  o f  t h e  d a y 

“According to a survey by Playboy magazine, three percent of women can’t remember their natural hair color. You know what you call these women? Blondes.” -Jay Leno 
 
“Not many people know this, but the word barbeque is actually a Norwegian word that means ‘I love you.’ That’s not true, but if it were true, wouldn’t it be awesome?” -Craig Ferguson
 
A company in Britain is releasing a new cell phone with a ringtone as loud as a vuvuzela. They say it’s the perfect way to tell the people around you, ‘Punch me in the face.’ -Jimmy Fallon

“Disney World is getting ready to open a resort for dogs and other pets. They’re already calling it the ‘Crappiest Place on Earth’.” – Jimmy Fallon

“I don’t like the show ‘So You Think You Can Dance.’ The title is kind of condescending. It’s like saying, ‘So
that’s what you’re going to wear?'” – Craig Ferguson

“The Senate has confirmed Elena Kagan for the Supreme Court. She now has a job for life. Just like Lindsay Lohan’s probation officer.” – Jay Leno    
  
G u a r a n t e e d  t o  R o l l  Y o u r  E y e s 

Most people don’t know that back in 1912 Hellman’s mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the “Titanic” was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after New York City. Mexicans were crazy about the stuff. The Mexican people were eagerly awaiting delivery and were disconsolate(“desperados”) at the loss. So much so that they declared a national day of mourning which they still observe today.  It is known, of course, as …Sinko de Mayo.  
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Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? “When someone asks you if you’re a ‘god’, you say ‘Yes’!” uttered?   

Answer: Ghostbusters! When the Ghostbusters meet up with the demon, Gozer, she asks Ray if he is a god. When Ray replies “No”, Gozer says, “Then…die!” and blasts the heroes with lightning. In pain, Winston tells Ray, “When someone asks you if you’re a ‘god’, you say ‘Yes’!” The Ghostbusters, a group of scientists who have made it their job to rid the world of ghosts and ghouls, must try to save the world from the Gozer, the Gozerian, who has come destroy the world.  

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from????  “Keyboard. How quaint.”  

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Tuesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2005, try and identify which song or which artist.”  “Now hush little baby, don’t you cry, everything’s gonna be alright, stiffen that upper lip up, little lady, I told ya, Daddy’s here to hold ya through the night”

ANSWER: “Mockingbird” by Eminem! “Mockingbird” is such a touching song if you ask me. It is dedicated to Eminem’s daughter and neice (whom he also raises). It was one of his singles off of his album “Encore”.

Wednesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2005 try and identify which song or which artist.” “Have you always been inside, waiting to breathe? It’s alright, sunlight on my face, I wake up, and yeah, I’m alive”

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Tuesday’s Quizzler is..  

The following are alternate definitions for words, based on how the words sound. For example, “To drive by the docks: P _ _ _ _ _ _ _.” would result in “PASSPORT (Pass Port)”. Can you guess the words described below?

1. What white bears see with: P _ _ _ _ _ _ _.
2. A car’s memoirs: A _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _.
3. How judges get to a small island: C _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _.
4. To live long: D _ _ _ _ _.
5. How good a fibber one is: L _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _.
6. In favor of young men and women: P _ _ _ _ _ _.    

 Answer: 1. Polarize (polar eyes), 2. Autobiography (auto biography), 3. Courtship (court ship), 4. Dilate (die late)
5. Liability (lie ability), 6. Protein (pro-teen)   

Wednesday’s Quizzler is…  

Professor C. D. Rock took his kids on a fieldtrip. Unfortunately, he took them to a library, only to get a dictionary out. He led them to a few words, and told them to study the word a little bit.

In order he led them to the words;
Basic, Elf, Haiti, Kill, and No.

He then gave them a list of words.

A. Quarrel
B. Quick
C. Quaint
D. Quite
E. Queen
F. Quibble
G. Quilt
H. Query
I. Quarter
J. Quote
K. Quotient

And then asked “which word, from the list, comes next?” Can you figure it out? 

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