Welcome, ‏to Thursday August 19th.  Marriage quotes 101……..Married life is full of excitement and frustration:

* In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.

* In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.

* In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

It is true that love is blind but marriage is definitely an eye-opener.

Getting married is very much like going to the restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

It’s true that all men are born free and equal, but some of them get married!

There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced.

A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and the wife takes.

Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad?

Father: I don’t know son, I’m still paying for it.

Son: Is it true? Dad, I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries.

Father: That happens everywhere, son, everywhere!
  
Hey I’m just saying! Have a great Thursday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!  
 
Q u o t e s  o f  t h e  d a y   

Steven Wright Quotes of the day…………. 

If the pen is mightier than the sword, in a duel I’ll let you have the pen!

What do batteries run on?

Are there any questions?

I was cleaning out my closet and I found a swim suit that I had made out of sponges. I remember one time when I wore it. When I got out of the swimming pool nobody could go swimming until I came back.

I bought one of those little glass ball things with the snow in it. You know, you turn it upside down then you turn it back and it starts to snow. I bought one, except this has a snow plow that does it in rows.

[Later] I bought one of those little glass ball things with the snow in it… Just checking.

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.

Why is it, “A penny for your thoughts,” but, “you have to put your two cents in?” Somebody’s making a penny.

My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon’s appointments.   
  
G u a r a n t e e d  t o  R o l l  Y o u r  E y e s  

Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn’t do something about it. So Tom went to his doctor who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went to bed. Tom slept well and in fact beat the alarm in the morning by almost two hours. He had a leisurely breakfast and drove cheerfully to work. “Boss”, he said, ” The pill actually worked!” “That’s all fine” said the boss, ” But where were you yesterday?”  
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Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? ‘I’m a Mawg: half man, half dog. I’m my own best friend.’ 

Answer: Spaceballs! John Candy (Barf) said this to Princess Vespa (Daphne Zuniga) and her droid, Dot. Barf was carrying the Princess’ luggage onto Lonestar’s ship and she asked what he was. Only Mel Brooks can come up with both comedy and science fiction mixed together.   

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from???? ‘If I’m not back in five minutes… Wait longer.’ 

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Wednesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2005, try and identify which song or which artist.”  “I don’t mind spending everyday, out on your corner in the pouring rain, look for the girl with the broken smile, ask her if she wants to stay awhile…” 

ANSWER: She Will Be Loved! This is from Maroon 5’s album, “Songs About Jane”. Before becoming Maroon 5, they released an album under the name Kara’s Flowers.
“Not Coming Home” is a off the album “Songs About Jane” and “To Her, With Love” is from the album “Fourth World” from Kara’s Flowers. “Somewhere Only We Know” is off Keane’s album, “Hopes And Fears”.   

Thursday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2005 try and identify which song or which artist.” “Cause I’m broken when I’m open, and I don’t feel like I am strong enough, cause I’m broken when I’m lonesome, and I don’t feel right when you’re gone away.”

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Wednesday’s Quizzler is..  

Solve the 10 clues. Take each initial letter, to form a new 10 letter word.
1. Polite greeting
2. Opposite of begin
3. It comes from a bulb
4. Eskimo’s home
5. Another name for an axe (or ax)
6. Black Sabbath front man
7. Where a child may play
8. Large vessel for liquids
9. To change something
10. Neither left, nor wrong  

ANSWER: HELICOPTER

1. Hello, 2. End, 3. Light, 4. Igloo, 5. Chopper, 6. Ozzy (Osborne), 7. Park
8. Tank, 9. Edit, 10. Right
 

Thursday’s Quizzler is…   

The following limerick has had the last word of each line scrambled. Can you figure it out?

It is the unfortunate THIAB
Of the rabbit to breed like a BIRTBA.
One can say without NOUSETIQ
This leads to TECGSONINO
In the burrows that rabbits TANIIBH.   

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! BRILLIANT JOB BANKS!   

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Answers in FRIDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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