Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏

Welcome, ‏to Friday September 10, 2010.  Laws of Life:

* Murphy’s First Law for Wives: If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the store and then you add one more as an afterthought, he will forget two of the first five.

* Kauffman’s Paradox of the Corporation: The less important you are to the corporation, the more your tardiness or absence is noticed.

* The Salary Axiom: The pay raise is just large enough to increase your taxes and just small enough to have no effect on your take-home pay.

* Miller’s Law of Insurance: Insurance covers everything except what happens.

* First Law of Living: As soon as you start doing what you always wanted to be doing, you’ll want to be doing something else.

* Weiner’s Law of Libraries: There are no answers, only cross-references.

* The Grocery Bag Law: The candy bar you planned to eat on the way home from the market is hidden at the bottom of the grocery bag.

* Lampner’s Law of Employment: When leaving work late, you will go unnoticed. When you leave work early, you will meet the boss in the parking lot. 

Hey I’m just saying! Have a great Friday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!     

q u o t e s  o f   t h e   d a y 

“Hurricane Earl was downgraded from a category 3 hurricane
to a category 1 hurricane. Which explains its new name,
‘Minor Annoyance Earl.'” -Jimmy Fallon
 
“President Obama delivered a speech to America’s school
children on the first day of school, and he encouraged them
to work hard and study hard. Then he said, ‘If that doesn’t
work, grab a seat next to the Asian kid.'” -Conan O’Brien
 
“Satellite TV is now available in cars. I guess cell phones
weren’t distracting enough! Now you can actually watch TV
while talking on your phone while driving.” –Jay Leno 

 G u a r a n t e e d  t o  R o l l  Y o u r  E y e s 

 These two girlfriends are very close, allowing them to be totally honest with each other. As one fidgeted in front of the mirror one evening before a
date, she remarked, “I’m fat.” “No, you’re not,” the other scolded. “My hair is awful.” “It looks just fine.”  “I’ve never looked worse,” she whined. “Yes, you have,” her friend replied.  

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Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from????  “Play it faster. Play it faster.” 

 Answer: Cat’s Eye! This is a short story by Stephen King called “The General”, and it is the final segment of three stories in the movie. The little girl on the bed, the troll on the record player, and the cat playing with the speed switch of the record player is classic. Amanda says play it faster when the troll is on the record player, and the cat, known as General, paws the switch that changes the speed of the record player. “The General” was made for the movie, and about a cat trying to rescue a little girl from the troll in the wall.  The movie is tied together by the cat’s adventures in “Quitter’s Inc” and “The Ledge”, before it goes into “The General”. One of the two other stories in this movie is called “Quitter’s Inc”; it’s about a smoker trying to quit smoking. The story is also found in Stephen King’s “Night Shift”. “The Ledge” is the second story, and it’s about a tennis pro who is having an affair with a millionaire’s wife. The husband and the tennis pro make a bet about walking around the building’s ledge. It is also found in “Night Shift.” 

 Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from????   “Mortal men and women defending your own world. It’s not about death but life.”    

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Thursday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2005, try and identify which song or which artist.” “Baby I see you working wanna let you know that I’m proud and I admire what you do..”?  

 ANSWER:  Beyonce! Beyonce’s sister had her baby three days after shooting the video for “Soldier”.

 Friday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2005 try and identify which song or which artist.” “It’s Paul Wall, I’m the peoples champ. My chain lights up like a lamp cuz now I’m back with the camp.”.

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Thursday’s Quizzler is..  

 In each group below, I have listed four (4) unrelated words. Your job is to try and find a word that can either precede or follow each word in each group.
Example: 1. picture, inner, top, test   Answer: picture TUBE, inner TUBE, TUBE top, test TUBE.

1. sky, point, hat, knee

2. street, fight, pedal, off

3. shoe, french, powder, rims

4. moulding, roast, triple, jewels 

 ANSWER: 1. sky HIGH, HIGH point, HIGH hat, knee HIGH

2. BACK street, fight BACK, BACK pedal, BACK off

3. shoe HORN, french HORN, powder HORN, HORN rims

4. CROWN moulding, CROWN roast, triple CROWN, CROWN jewels    

 Friday’s Quizzler is…  

Write a table that contains a row of letters and a row of numbers where you can clearly tell that A=1, B=2, C=3 etc until Z=26. Using it, decipher the clues to find a nine letter word which could describe someone evil.

– The 2nd and 7th letters are the same and divisible by 5.
– The 6th letter is an even number which is LESS than 13.
– The 5th is the 1st and 6th letter’s value added together.
– The 8th letter is a prime number between 15 and 25.
– The 3rd letter is a vowel, whose value is less than 10.
– The 1st letter has a value 10 less than the 4th.
– The last letter’s value is equal to double the 8th and then subtract 19.  

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER AWARD GOES TO SWEETJAZZ5!  GREAT JOB JAZZZZZZZZ!        

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Answers in MONDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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