Welcome, ‏to Wednesday November 10, 2010. Here are 24 Simple Truths………..

1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to  do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after BluRay? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again.

13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page  technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

17. I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

22. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet
everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

24. The first testicular guard, the “Cup,” was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their
brain is also important.   I’m just saying! Have a great Wednesday folks, whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!        

Q u o t e s  o f  t h e  d a y !  

“I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.”
– Mark Twain

“Everything that I understand, I understand only because I love.”
– Leo Tolstoy

“I envy people who drink. At least they have something to
blame everything on.”
– Oscar Levant          

G u a r a n t e e d  t o  R o l l  Y o u r  E y e s 

Once I’d finished reviewing my daughter’s homework, I gave her an impromptu quiz. “What is a group of whales called?” I asked. “I’ll give you a hint—it sounds like something you use to listen to music.” “An iPod?” she guessed.  “Close,” I said. “But what I’m thinking is a little smaller.” “A Shuffle!” 

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Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? ‘I’m not afraid of the man who wants ten nuclear warheads, Colonel. I’m terrified of the man who only wants one.’  

Answer: The Peacemaker! Dr. Julia Kelly (Nicole Kidman) explains to Colonel Tom DeVoe (George Clooney) why she’s so distressed about the fact that exactly one nuclear warhead has turned up missing in the seemingly-aborted hijack of a cache containing a number of warheads. 

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from????  ‘Mom…I find it amusing that you refer to the ‘Weekly World News’ as ‘the paper’.’

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Tuesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2007, try and identify which song or which artist.” “I just came here to party, but now we’re rockin’ on the dance floor actin’ naughty.” 

ANSWER: “Don’t Stop The Music”- Rihanna! This song is from Rihanna’s album “Good Girl Gone Bad” which came out on June 5, 2007. “Don’t Stop The Music” was the third single to come off the CD.  

Wednesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2007 try and identify which song or which artist.” “I’m Miss ‘Bad Media Karma’. Another day, another drama. Guess I can’t see the harm in working and being a mama,”

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Tuesday’s Quizzler is..  

Fill in the missing middle word. This word should correspond with the first and last word.

1) Swimming ____________ Party
2) Bathing _______________ Jacket
3) Beach _________________ Leg
4) Sand ________________Bill
5) Sea _______________ Fish
6) Vacation _____________ Shoes
7) Money ___________ Top
8) Picnic ______________ Case
9) Camp _____________ Ants
10) Volley ______________ Park

ANSWER: 1) Pool, 2) Suit, 3) Bum, 4) Dollar, 5) Shell, 6) House , 7) Tree, 8) Basket
9) Fire, 10) Ball
 

Wednesday’s Quizzler is… 

A spoonerism is a pair of words that can have their initial sounds switched to form new words. The pairs need only sound the same, not necessarily be spelled the same (power saw & sour paw, horse cart & coarse heart). There may sometimes be one or two connecting words (kick the stone & stick the cone, king of the rats & ring of the cats). Given the following definitions, what are the spoonerisms?

1) ales in Madrid & to refuse javelins
2) sluggish crawl & insane jump
3) very warm poodle & selfish hoarder of specks
4) large cetacean & bundle of toupees

 TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS CARRIE PALOMBO AND SWEETJAZZ5! GREAT JOB CARRIE AND JAZZZ!

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Answers in THURSDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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