WELCOME to Tuesday, December 7, 2010. You know your getting old when….

Everything that works hurts, and what doesn’t hurt doesn’t work.

You feel like the morning after, and you haven’t been anywhere.

Your little black book only contains names ending in M.D.

Your children are beginning to look middle-aged.

Your mind makes contracts your body can’t keep.

You look forward to a dull evening.

Your knees buckle and your belt won’t.

Your back goes out more than you do.

You sink your teeth into a steak, and they stay there.

You know all the answers, but nobody asks the questions.

Hey I’m just saying! Have a great Tuesday and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here!

q u o t e s . o f . t h e . d a y

“A new study ranked the people in Minneapolis as the smartest
people in the U.S. New York didn’t even rank in the top 10.
That is so ‘non-good.'” -Jimmy Fallon

“Yesterday everyone in New York watched the lighting of the
Christmas tree in Rockefeller Center. This year, the lights
will be partly lit by the sun, in an effort to pretend to
care about the environment.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“Earlier today, New Jersey announced this year’s inductees
into the New Jersey Hall of Fame. So congratulations to ‘trash’ and ‘raw sewage.'” -Conan O’Brien

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes.

One day while out on our fishing boat, we heard a woman calling for help. Pointing frantically toward a sinking row boat, she shouted to us, “My husband can’t swim!” Although the water was up to his chest, the man remained a fisherman through and through: as we reached down to pull him aboard our boat, he lifted a large, still-struggling salmon in his hand, and yelled, “Take the fish!”
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Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? ‘And the monkey flips the switch.’

Answer: Lost in Space! During liftoff, Major Don West (Matt Le Blanc) expresses his displeasure at having been assigned as the pilot of the Jupiter Mission — the ship is so heavily automated that, in his own earlier words, ‘a monkey could fly it.’

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? ‘I work at the Pentagon, Sergeant, so I admit I’m a little slow on the uptake; otherwise, I’d say that you just threatened me. Did you just threaten me, soldier? Because if you did, let me respond to you this way: I’m an officer, and therefore by proclamation a gentleman…but don’t abuse that, son. Don’t get in my crosshairs. Because I’ll have no compunctions whatsoever about gettin’ up to my neck in your butt. You understand me?’
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Monday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2007, try and identify which song or which artist.” “She’s her daddy’s girl and her mama’s world she deserves respect, that’s what she’ll get, ain’t it son now y’all run along and have some fun”

Answer: “Cleanin This Gun” – Rodney Atkins. This song is also called “Cleanin This Gun (Come on in Boy)”.

Tuesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2007 try and identify which song or which artist.” “You know every guy in here tonight would like to take you home but I’ve got way more class than them babe that ain’t what I want”

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Monday’s Quizzler is..

What is unusual about this following long sentence?

Dennis, Nell, Edna, Leon, Nedra, Anita, Rolf, Nora, Alice, Carol, Leo, Jane, Reed, Dena, Dale, Basil, Rae, Penny, Lana, Dave, Denny, Lena, Ida, Bernadette, Ben, Ray, Lila, Nina, Jo, Ira, Mara, Sara, Mario, Jan, Ina, Lily, Arne, Bette, Dan, Reba, Diane, Lynn, Ed, Eva, Dana, Lynne, Pearl, Isabel, Ada, Ned, Dee, Rena, Joel, Lora, Cecil, Aaron, Flora, Tina, Arden, Noel and Ellen sinned.

ANSWER: It is one long palindrome! A palindrome is something that can be read the same backwards and forwards.

Tuesday’s Quizzler is…  

Below are five titles of novels. However, they have been rephrased, and it is your job to figure them out.
1. Blanched canine tooth
2. The vindictive woody vines of the genus Vitis
3. Blessed and evil spirits
4. The Foreigners
5. Journals of a Japanese entertainer

TODAYS QUIZZMASTERS OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO SWEETJAZZ5 FOR SOLVING MONDAY’S QUIZZLER OF THE DAY! WAY2GO JAZZZZZZZ!
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 Answers in WEDNESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com. YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/