WELCOME to Friday, January 28, 2010. Ponderings for today…..

Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

If most car accidents occur within five miles of home, why doesn’t everyone just move 10 miles away?

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, “Where’s the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?

Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

Why do women wear evening gowns to nightclubs? Shouldn’t they be wearing night gowns?

Hey I’m just saying! Have an incredible weekend and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here!

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“Tonight is Burns Night in Scotland. They drink whiskey and celebrate the poet Robert Burns. I know what you’re thinking: Scottish people drink whiskey? They do. Tonight’s
the night they drink whiskey and recite poetry…which makes
it classy.” -Craig Ferguson

“President Obama wants to freeze government spending for the
next five years and then in year six have a huge party and blow all of it.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“Three Supreme Court justices — Samuel Alito, Antonin Scalia,
and Clarence Thomas — did not attend the State of the Union
address. Taking their place was Steven Tyler, Jennifer Lopez,
and Randy Jackson.” -Conan O’Brien

G u a r a n t e e d t o m a k e y o u l a u g h

The big chess tournament was taking place at the Plaza in New York. After the first day’s competition, many of the winners were sitting around in the foyer of the hotel talking about their matches and bragging about their wonderful play. After a few drinks they started getting louder and louder until finally, the desk clerk couldn’t take any more and kicked them out.

The next morning the Manager called the clerk into his office and told him there had been many complaints about his being so rude to the hotel guests….instead of kicking them out, he should have just asked them to be less noisy. The clerk responded, “I’m sorry, but if there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.”

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Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? ‘I’ve applied for early admission to Oxford and the Sorbonne. Harvard is my safety.’

Answer: Rushmore
Written by Wes Anderson.
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? ‘He’s out. And you’re out too. And I don’t think I’m in either. No gang!’
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Thursday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2000 -2002, try and identify which song or which artist. ” “You’ve been the first in my life who has ever made me feel this way, and I will not deny I’m gonna need you right here by my side.”

Answer: Soluna
From “For All Time”. This group of three girls made it up into the top 10 with this song.

Friday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2000-2002 try and identify which song or which artist. “Within my heart a memory, a perfect love that you gave to me. Oh, I remember.”

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Thursday’s Quizzler is..

Below you will find uncommon titles to five award winning, or popular children’s books. How many can you decipher?

1. Where the Crimson Foliage Propagates.
2. Obscure Oasis
3. The Sunny Season of the Cygnus.
4. Feline in the Bonnet.
5. A Crumple in Chronology.

ANSWER: 1. Where the Red Fern Grows., 2. Secret Garden., 3. The Summer of the Swans
4. Cat in the Hat., 5. A Wrinkle in Time

Friday’s Quizzler is…

Below are incomplete words. Place three letters in each bracket so that you can complete the word on the left and begin the word on the right. Good luck.

i (_ _ _) lar
lat (_ _ _) ror
phan (_ _ _) atoe
indica (_ _ _) toise
sc (_ _ _) na
thr (_ _ _) egal 
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO SWEETJAZZ5 AND MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! ANOTHER GREAT JOB LADIES!
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Answers in MONDAY Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com. YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/