WELCOME to Thursday, January 6, 2010. Deep Thoughts for Today……

To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there’s no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other.

I think someone should have had the decency to tell me the luncheon was free. To make someone run out with potato salad in his hand, pretending he’s throwing up, is not what I call hospitality.

To me, clowns aren’t funny. In fact, they’re kind of scary. I’ve wondered where this started, and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad.

Probably the earliest flyswatters were nothing more than some sort of striking surface attached to the end of a long stick.

I remember that one fateful day when Coach too me aside. I knew what was coming. “You don’t have to tell me,” I said. “I’m off the team, aren’t I?” “Well,” said Coach, “you never were really ON the team. You made that uniform you’re wearing out of rags and towels, and your helmet is a toy space helmet. You show up at practice and then either steal the ball and make us chase you to get it back, or you try to tackle people at inappropriate times.” It was all true what he was saying. And yet, I thought something is brewing inside the head of this Coach. He sees something in me, some kind of raw talent that he can mold. But that’s when I felt the handcuffs go on.

Most people don’t realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer.

As I bit into the nectarine, it had a crisp juiciness about it that was very pleasurable – until I realized it wasn’t a nectarine at all, but a human head!

Better not take a dog on the Space Shuttle, because if he sticks his head out when you’re coming home, his face might burn up.

Hey I’m just saying! Have a Great Thursday, and whatever you do this next year, don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here!

q u o t e s . o f . t h e . d a y

 

Steven Wright…..

The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree.

I had a dream that all the victims of The Pill came back… Boy, were they mad!

The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney…

I like to fill my tub up with water, then turn the shower on and act like I’m in a submarine that’s been hit.

It doesn’t matter what temperature the room is, it’s always room temperature.

I have two very rare photographs. One is a picture of Houdini locking his keys in his car. The other is a rare photograph of Norman Rockwell beating up a child.

I went to the eye doctor and found out I needed glasses for reading. So, I got some flip-up contact lenses.

Winny would spend all of his time practicing limbo. He got pretty good. He could go under a rug.

I filled out an application that said, “In Case Of Emergency Notify”. I wrote “Doctor”… What’s my mother going to do?

G u a r a n t e e d t o R o l l Y o u r E y e s

A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, “Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel.” “I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents.” “The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I’d accumulated a fortune of $1.37.” “Then my wife’s father died and left us two million dollars.”
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Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?’All they wanna do is stay indoors, smoke cigarettes, and relate. I don’t like ’em.’

Answer:The Sure Thing! Walter ‘Gib’ Gibson (John Cusack) explains to his buddy why he’s not especially fond of the women who attend the co-ed mixers at their college. Said buddy’s response? ‘Why do you have to *like* ’em?’

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? ‘If I’d been any kind of a leader, I would’ve told you guys this stuff a long time ago. Instead, I was tellin’ you basketball stories.’
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Wednesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2008, try and identify which song or which artist.” “Never mind what haters say, ignore them ’til they fade away. Amazing they ungrateful after all the game I gave away. Safe to say I paved the way, for you cats to get paid today. You still be wasting days away now had I never saved the day. Consider them my protégé, homage I think they should pay. Instead of being gracious, they violate in a major way. I never been a hater still I love them, in a crazy way.”

Answer:”Live Your Life” – T.I Feat. Rihanna! The beginning of the song was taken from O-Zones’s “Numa Numa” (known by that name in the U.S.) “Live Your Life” originally had Rhianna having her own verse and the beginning was a dedication for the solders in Iraq. This song was first aired on September 10, 2008.

Thursday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2008 try and identify which song or which artist. “It’s the simple things in life, like when and where We didn’t have no internet
But man I never will forget The way the moonlight shined upon her hair”

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Wednesday’s Quizzler is..

Find the names of ten fish by adding one of the given letters to each word and rearranging the letters. Each letter will be used only once.

A A E H L N N P T T

1. Nut + ? =
2. Tour + ? =
3. Prickle + ? =
4. Floured + ? =
5. Mason + ? =
6. Ringer + ? =
7. Papers + ? =
8. Gyro + ? =
9. Apron + ? =
10. Pompon + ? =

ANSWER: 1. Tuna, 2. Trout, 3. Pickerel, 4. Flounder, 5. Salmon, 6. Herring
7. Snapper, 8. Porgy, 9. Tarpon, 10. Pompano

Thursday’s Quizzler is…

Decode this well known nursery rhyme:

A small number of child laborers were attempting to traverse a more elevated position in a vain attempt to procure a quarter of a rundlet of a hydrogen and oxygen compound. Half their number experienced an uncontrollable descent that resulted in severe damage to the pate. And soon it came to pass that the rest of the labor force followed suit, but with far less serious consequences.

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