WELCOME to Wednesday, January 26, 2010. Ponderings for the Day…..

It’s a dog eat dog world out there. And they’re short on napkins.

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

Never trust a stockbroker who’s married to a travel agent.

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t.

It must be true that men are from Mars. Look at how the place has deteriorated.

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

Married people don’t live longer than single people. It just seems longer.

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, “Where’s the self-help section?” She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

Hey I’m just saying! Have a great Wednesday and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here!

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“Sometimes the appropriate response to reality is to go
insane.”- Philip K. Dick

“I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat.” – Will Rogers

“Convinced myself, I seek not to convince.” – Edgar Allan Poe

“A week has no basis in nature, as do days, months and years. So birds don’t understand weeks or weekdays. They do know enough to come back to the sidewalk cafe every day for crumbs. But suppose the cafe is in the business district and closed on weekends? What do the birds think of that? I’ll bet they’re really glad when Monday rolls around. Unlike the rest of us.” –George Carlin

“Why is New Jersey called the Garden State? Cause it’s too
hard to fit ‘Oil and Petro-Refinery State’ on a license plate.” –Sandra Bullock in Miss Congeniality

“Someone has said that there are only two kinds of people in
the world—- There are those who wake up in the morning and
say, “Good Morning, Lord,” and there are those who wake up
in the morning and say, “Good Lord, it’s morning.” –Unknown

G u a r a n t e e d t o m a k e y o u l a u g h

Because my mother had a habit of losing her cordless phone, I bought her a phone with a clip on it so she could attach it directly to her belt. A few days later, I walked into my mother’s home and found her standing in the middle of the living room, halfway dressed. That didn’t strike me as odd so much as the fact that she was holding her pants to the side of her head and speaking into them. “Don’t look at me that way,” she yelled. “The phone started ringing and I couldn’t figure out how to undo this stupid clip!”
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Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? ‘Even if, you know, even if we never talk again after tonight, please know that I’m forever changed because of who you are and what you’ve meant to me, which – while I do appreciate it – I’d never need a painting of birds bought at a diner to remind me of.’

Answer: Chasing Amy
Spoken by Holden McNeil played by Ben Affleck. My personal favorite Kevin Smith film.
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? ‘If you died right now, I would throw myself under one of my dad’s cement trucks so I could be poured into your tomb.’
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Tuesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2000 -2002, try and identify which song or which artist. ” “One thing, I don’t know why, it doesn’t even matter how hard you try.”. 

The correct answer was Linkin Park

From “In the End”, a song that was the number 1 song in the nation for a while.

Wednesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2000-2002 try and identify which song or which artist.“I met this chick, and she just moved right up the block from me.”

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Tuesday’s Quizzler is..

What expression is represented here?

I hear: “It, It, It, It, …”
You hear: “I_, I_, I_, I_, …”

ANSWER: You will never hear the end of it.
 

Wednesday’s Quizzler is… 

Can you determine the nursery rhyme being stated below?

Once upon a time there was this ovum consisting of an envelope of albumen, jelly and membranes which decided to moor its entirety on a parapet. Then rather suddenly, and without notice, the ovular succumbed to the Brobdingnagian gravitational pull. The result was that the entire embodiment of the paramount’s yeomanry and herbivores were unequal to the task of assemblage.

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Answers in THURSDAY Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com. YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/