WELCOME to Tuesday, February 15, 2010. Bumper Stickers…..

Stop repeat offenders. Don’t re-elect them!

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

I intend to live forever – so far, so good.

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

Black holes are where God divided by zero.

All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.

Taxation WITH representation isn’t so hot, either!

Hey I’m just saying!  Have an interesting Tuesday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“There’s a gorilla in England who has learned to walk up-
right. Normally, they walk on their knuckles, which is why
they don’t wear jewelry.” -Jimmy Kimmel

Walgreens is now selling 50 cent beer. And just in time for
Valentine’s Day.” -David Letterman

“There was a power outage at Newark Airport. Who wants a TSA
pat-down with the lights off?” -Jay Leno

G u a r a n t e e d t o m a k e y o u l a u g h

The other day I was eating in an Italian restaurant when I accidentally spilled some spaghetti sauce on my favorite white sweater.  I wasn’t too distressed, though, because Mr. Wong down on High Street has been doing my laundry for years, and I knew that he could remove just about any stain and get it out like it’d never been there.  So I took the sweater down to Wong’s Laundry and dropped it off; Mr. Wong said he’d probably be able to have it cleaned by Thursday. So on Thursday afternoon after work I stopped by Wong’s again.  Mr. Wong looked quite distressed when he saw me. He brought out the sweater and, apologizing profusely, explained that somehow this stain was beyond even his power to expunge.  And sure enough, though fainter than before, there was still a distinct red stain on the sweater. In an attempt to make up for his failure, Mr. Wong offered to send the sweater to his brother across town, who had been in the laundry business for an even longer time, and who might have a clue as to the method of removal of this extraordinarily persistent stain.

The elder Wong brother would rush it through at no extra charge, and should have it looking as white and clean as new by Friday. So on Friday I went back to Wong’s to pick up my sweater, but when I arrived, Mr. Wong regretfully informed me that his brother, too, had failed to remove the red blotch. “No charge,” said Wong, “but you must take sweater elsewhere to clean.
The Moral: … Two Wongs cannot make a white.”
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Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?‘So, I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every time you see me, that’s on the worst day of my life.’

Answer: Office Space

‘Office Space’ is a Mike Judge (‘Beavis And Butthead’) film, based on his skit, ‘Milton’.

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? ‘I don’t know what to do. Something has happened to me and I’m very lost. And it doesn’t stop. It’s not getting better. I’m not getting better.’
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Monday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2000 -2002, try and identify which song or which artist.“Do you understand what I need from you? Just let me be the girl to show you everything that you can be is everything that I can be.” 

Answer: Willa Ford

From “I Wanna Be Bad”. There was also a 7Up commercial based on this song. 

Tuesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2000-2002 try and identify which song or which artist.“You left without saying goodbye, although I’m sure you tried. You call the house from time to time to make sure we’re alive, but you weren’t there right when I needed you the most.”

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Monday’s Quizzler is..

This is a phrase some people can say every day.

The thing you see with + The 12th letter of the alphabet + A white pigeon – The 4th letter of the alphabet + A female sheep + A word meaning $1,000 + A thing used to clean floors – The 16th letter of the alphabet.

What is this phrase?

ANSWER: I love you Grandma.

Explanation: The thing you see with = EYE (pronounced “I”)

+ The 12th letter of the alphabet = L
+ A white pigeon = Dove
– The 4th letter of the alphabet = D
+ A female sheep = EWE (pronounced You)
+ A word meaning $1,000 = Grand
+ A thing used to clean floors = Mop ( the o has a short vowel sounding like “ah”)
– The 16th letter of the alphabet = P

Eye (I) + L + Dove-D (ove) + EWE (You) + Grand + Mop-P (pronounced Ma)

I + L + ove + You + Grand + Ma = I Love You Grandma

Tuesday’s Quizzler is…  

The following words share a characteristic. Which two words from the second group can be added to the first group and what is the characteristic they share?

Group #1:
NOW
CRAM
ELVES
TALE
TRAIN
LATE
HOW

Group #2:

VAIN
CRIME
PEAR
LAUNCH
WING
WILT 

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Answers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com. YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/