WELCOME to Wednesday, March 9, 2011. 25 Phases of Wisdom….

1. If you’re too open minded, your brains will fall out.

2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

3. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.

4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never tried before.

6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.

10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

12. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

15. No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

19. Junk is something you’ve kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.

25. Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.

Hey I’m just saying! Have a wonderful Wednesday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“Charlie Sheen joined Twitter and within two days, had 1.4 million people following him. To be fair, most of
those people work for the Center for Disease Control.” – Conan O’Brien

“Some swanky hotels in New York City are now renting rooms by the hour. Aren’t hotel rooms dirty enough already?” – Craig Ferguson

“A new study found that a chemical in your body can actually make you a bad dancer. It’s called ‘vodka.'”
– Jimmy Fallon “The American Academy of Pediatrics has suggested that
people under the age of 18 should be banned from tanning
salons. Parents that take their kids to tanning salons
should be banned from parenting.” -Jimmy Fallon

“Listen to this. The New York Times is now reporting it’s possible to catch the flu from money. They say the virus
can live on a $20 bill for more than 10 days. So, not only is the virus contagious, it’s also very frugal.” –Jay Leno

“I love tax season. My accountant says that I can save a lot of money if I declare my show a church.” -David Letterman

G u a r a n t e e d t o m a k e y o u l a u g h

The young man ahead of my father at the flower shop was taking an unusually long time to place his order. When the clerk asked how she could help, he explained that his girlfriend was turning 19 and he couldn’t decide whether to give her a dozen roses or 19 roses — one for each year of her life. The woman put aside her business judgment and advised, “She may be your 19-year-old girlfriend now, but someday she could be your 50-year-old wife.” The young man bought a dozen roses.
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Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?What movie is this quote from???‘Touch me again and I’ll kill ya.’  

Answer: The Last Boy Scout

A line Bruce repeats several times during the movie.

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???‘You know what everybody says about me? I suck!’

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Monday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2000 -2002, try and identify which song or which artist.“We flying first class up in the sky, we poppin champagne living the life in the fast lane.”  

Answer: Fergie

In 2007, Fergie had her 3rd single come out from her first single album with “Glamorous”. She spells a lot in this one too. G-L-A-M-O-R-OUS. This song is from her album “The Dutchess.” 

Wednesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2003-2007 try and identify which song or which artist.“The walls keep breathing, my mind’s unweaving”.

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Monday’s Quizzler is..

Oxy the Moron set out into the world and learned a big word, OXYMORON!!! After searching about this new word for a some time, he came up with a teaser made especially for you!

Can you figure out which well known oxymorons these words are?
Ex) Initial facsimile = original copy

1) solitary option
2) approximately precise
3) trivial calamity
4) accurate approximation
5) authentic duplication

Answer: 1) only choice, 2) almost exactly, 3) minor crisis
4) exact estimate, 5) genuine imitation

Wednesday’s Quizzler is…

The following clues lead to two words or phrases that are the phonetic reverse of each other. When you answer the first clue and flip the syllables, you get the second answer. (Phonetic only, not letters.)Using the clues below, please find the words/phrases in question.

Example: Impertinent * Teetertotter
Answer: Saucy/Seesaw

1. A clock or watch * Period between wars (2 words)
2. Fabulous * Chase after
3. Have faith in * Not disturb (2 words)
4. European weight, informally * Understated (Hyphenated)
5. Student, say, with a summer office job * Go to bed (2 words)

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! BRILLIANT SOLVING BANKS!

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Answers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com. YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/