WELCOME to Friday, March 11, 2011. The Laws of Golf….

LAW 1: No matter how bad your last shot was, the worst is yet to come. This law does not expire on the 18th hole, since it has the supernatural tendency to extend over the course of a tournament, a summer and, eventually, a lifetime.

LAW 2: Your best round of golf will be followed almost immediately by your worst round ever. The probability of the latter increases with the number of people you tell about the former.

LAW 3: Brand new golf balls are water-magnetic. Though this cannot be proven in the lab, it is a known fact that the more expensive the golf ball, the greater its attraction to water.

LAW 4: Golf balls never bounce off of trees back into play. If one does, the tree is breaking a law of the universe and should be cut down.

LAW 5: No matter what causes a golfer to muff a shot, all his playing partners must solemnly chant “You looked up,” or invoke the wrath of the universe.

LAW 6: The higher a golfer’s handicap, the more qualified he deems himself as an instructor.

LAW 7: Every par-three hole in the world has a secret desire to humiliate golfers. The shorter the hole, the greater its desire.

LAW 8: Topping a 3-iron is the most painful torture known to man.

LAW 9: Palm trees eat golf balls.

LAW 10: Sand is alive. If it isn’t, how do you explain the way it works against you?

Hey I’m just saying! Have a great weekend people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman! 

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“A new survey found that women spend eight years of their lives going shopping. Which means men spend eight years of their lives on a bench outside Anne Taylor at the mall.”
-Jimmy Fallon

“Women who drink are less likely to be obese than women who do not drink. All this time, you’ve been on Jenny Craig while you should have been on Johnny Walker.” -Jay Leno

“Charlie Sheen was spotted on a roof wielding a machete and drinking red liquid labeled ‘tiger blood.’ I would love to see this guy’s to-do list.” -Conan O’Brien

G u a r a n t e e d t o m a k e y o u l a u g h
My 10-year-old daughter has decided she is an environmentalist. So she talked me into participating in an aggressive recycling effort with her. Last week she and I took what proved to be 134 pounds of cardboard boxes to the recycling center and earned $1.34. Counting gas and ice cream, we turned a profit of -$7.85. We’re going to use generally accepted accounting principles and see if we can apply this amount to our taxable income.
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Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?What movie is this quote from???‘I like you Clarence. Always have, always will.’ 

Answer: True Romance

Val Kilmer’s never seen Elvis speaking to Christian Slater during the drug deal scene.

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???‘All I gotta do now is find a one legged nun walkin’ a goat, and I win!‘

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Thursday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2000 -2002, try and identify which song or which artist.“Even the best fall down sometimes, even the wrong words seem to rhyme”?  

Answer: Fergie

In 2007, Fergie had her 3rd single come out from her first single album with “Glamorous”. She spells a lot in this one too. G-L-A-M-O-R-OUS. This song is from her album “The Dutchess.”

Friday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2003-2007 try and identify which song or which artist “Right now, he’s probably buying her some fruity little drink cause she can’t shoot whiskey”.

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Thursday’s Quizzler is..

Below are a few singers who have sung a song that has a number in its title. The names of the singers are spelled out. Good luck!
The Beatles = E D a W
Air Supply = The O T Y L
Shania Twain = Y S the O
Herman’s Hermits = I H the E I A
Wilson Pickett = L of a T D
Queen = A O B the D
The Clovers = L P #9
The Beatles = W I S-F

Answer: The Beatles = Eight Days a Week
Air Supply = The One That You Love
Shania Twain = You’re Still The One
Herman’s Hermits = I’m Henry the Eighth I Am
Wilson Pickett = Land of a Thousand Dances
Queen = Another One Bites the Dust
The Clovers = Love Potion #9
The Beatles = When I’m Sixty-Four

Friday’s Quizzler is…

Below are incomplete words. Place two letters in each bracket so that you can complete the word on the left and begin the word on the right. Good luck.

Perfu (–) rge
Barb (–) itor
Again (–) ain
Sta (–) sture
Giraf (–) deral
Featu (–) medy

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Answers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com. YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/