WELCOME to Monday, September 12, 2011. The Southern medical dictionary

Acute: Opposite of an ugly

Artery: The study of paintings

Bacteria: Back door of a cafeteria

Barium: What doctors do to dead patients

Benign: What you are after you’re eight.

Bowel: Letter like A,E,I,O, or U

Cat scan: Searching for a kitty

Cauterize: Made eye contact with her

Cesarean Section: Neighborhood in Rome

Colic: A sheep dog

Concussion: A prisoner’s sofa

Congenital: To be friendly

D & C: Where the White House is

Dilate: To live too long

Enema: Not a friend

Fester: Quicker

Fibula: A small lie

GI series: A soldier ball game

Hangnail: A coat hook

Impotent: Distinguished, well known

That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a great Monday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.
Woody Allen

At the height of laughter, the universe is flung into a kaleidoscope of new
possibilities. Jean Houston

Even if there is nothing to laugh about, laugh on credit. Author Unknown

Mirth is God’s medicine. Everybody ought to bathe in it. Henry Ward Beecher

Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several
of us died of tuberculosis. Jack Handey, “Deep Thoughts,” Saturday Night Live

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter. e.e. cummings

Laughter is an instant vacation. Milton Berle

What monstrous absurdities and paradoxes have resisted whole batteries of
serious arguments, and then crumbled swiftly into dust before the ringing
death-knell of a laugh! Agnes Repplier
G u a r a n t e e d t o R o l l Y o u r E y e s

A man went into a bar in a high rise. He saw another man take a pill, take a drink, walk to the window and jump out. He flew
around for a minute and zipped back into the bar. As the amazed newcomer watched, the man repeated this twice more. Finally the
man asked if he could have a pill. The flier said it was his last one. The man offered five hundred dollars to no avail, so he made a final offer of a
thousand dollars. The man said that it was all he had on him.  The flier reluctantly gave in, took the cash, surrendered the pill, and turned
back to the bar. The man took the pill, took a drink, went to the window, and jumped out only to fall to his death. The bartender walked over to the flier at
the bar and, wiping a glass, said, “You sure are mean when you’re drunk, Superman.”

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Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?What movie is this quote from??? ‘That was a hell of a thing.’ Answer: ‘Galaxy Quest’ The very spacey
Fred after being transported to an alien ship.

Mondays Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from?? ‘Take it easy.’
‘I’ll take it any way I can get it.’

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Friday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 90s -2002, try and identify which song or which artist. “Don’t be fooled by the rocks that I
got…” Answer: Jennifer Lopez. This is from “Jenny from the Block.”

Monday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2009/2010, try and identify which song or which artist. “Maybe I need some rehab, or maybe just need some sleep. I’ve got a sick obsession, I’m seeing it in my dreams.”

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Friday’s Quizzler is…

The following sentences can be completed by adding two words that are anagrams of one another. Each word has only four letters. Enjoy!
1. If you prick your finger while picking a ____, it may be very ____.
2. If you take a ____ at the Mad Hatter’s party, you still may not get a sip of
his ____.
3. If you need some stamps, then you must ____ by the ____ office.
4. If you eat a whole ____ of a wedding cake, you may develop a spare ____
around your middle.
5. If you have a ____ with your friend, you should forgive them and focus on
the future, not on the ____.

ANSWER: 1. rose, sore, 2. seat, teas, 3. stop, Post, 4. tier, tire, 5. spat, past

Monday’s Quizzler is….

If O2 is O=O.
H2O is H-O-H, and CO2 is O=C=O,
then what might this represent?
=James=

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY GOES TO OUR RESIDENT GENIUS MS. ANDREA L. BANKS!  GREAT SOLVING ANDREA!

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Answers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive
this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com. YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/