WELCOME to Friday, November 11, 2011. Gender………

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t want.

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot & love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot & not try to understand her at all.

Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

Any married man should forget his mistakes-there’s no use in two people remembering the same thing.

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t. A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change & she does.

A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

There are 2 times when a man doesn’t understand a woman: before marriage & after.

That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a great Friday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
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q u o t e s o f t h e d a y“According to new census data, Falls Church, Va. is the best-educated area in the U.S. I tried to find out how New York did, but I couldn’t find anyone who knowed.” -Jimmy Fallon

“A new food bill has been signed into law. It’s part of our war against donuts. If we’re not vigilant, the donuts will win.” -Craig Ferguson

“7-Eleven has announced that they are going to start selling their own brand of wine. This is for people who find the idea of buying wine at Walmart too pretentious.” -Jay Leno

A word to the wise ain’t necessary. It’s the stupid ones who need the advice.

I am not the boss of my house. I don’t know when I lost it. I don’t know if I ever had it. But I have seen the boss’s job and I do not want it.

People will frighten you about a graduation….They use words you don’t hear often… “And we wish you Godspeed.” It is a warning, Godpeed. It means you are no longer welcome here at these prices.

As I have discovered by examining my past, I started out as a child. Coincidentally, so did my brother. My mother did not put all her eggs in one basket, so to speak: she gave me a younger brother named Russell, who taught me what was meant by “survival of the fittest.”

My childhood should have taught me lessons for my own parenthood, but it didn’t because parenting can be learned only by people who have no children.

Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home.

Gray hair is God’s graffiti.

Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.

My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!

Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries. 
G U A R A N T E D  T O  M A K E  Y O U  L A F F….

Signs warning of closed roadways are frequently ignored in rural Minnesota, so highway workers barely took notice when a woman drove past their sign and over the hill to the trench they had dug in the middle of the road. The workers explained the detour route to town, and she went on her way.

They were surprised, however, to see the same woman coming toward them from town a couple of hours later. “Oh,” she said distractedly as she again pulled up next to the trench crew. “Is it closed in this direction too?”
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Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?What movie is this quote from??? “On a scale of one to ten, ten being the most depraved act of theater known to man, one being your average Friday night run through at the Lomax household, I’d say not to be a modest, Maryann and I got it on at about seven.” Answer:The Devil’s Advocate. Part of five plus minute speech given by Al Pacino, playing John Milton, to Keanu Reeves (Kevin Lomax) at the climax of the film in John Milton’s (Pacino) office. Kevin Lomax is confronting his boss about the acts supposedly done to his wife whom is played by Charlize Theron. Knowing he is guilty he admits to the violent assault with this very provocative response.

Fridays Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from?? “In case your aim is any better than your judgment.”

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Thursday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2009/2010, try and identify which song or which artist.  “It took too long for you to call back and normally I would just forget that, except for the fact that it was my birthday!  Answer: These lyrics are from the song “Potential Break-Up” by Aly & Aj.

Friday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2009/2010, try and identify which song or which artist. “Paper bags and plastic hearts, all are belongings in shopping carts…”

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