WELCOME to Tuesday April 3, 2012.  Words to Ponder….. 

Life is just a phase you’re going through…you’ll get over it.
My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change  places.
Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
Junk is something you throw away three weeks before you need it.
There is always one more idiot than you counted on.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage  makes you a mechanic.
Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when  you make it again.
By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
I believe the only time the world beats a path to my door is when I’m in the bathroom.
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.
I don’t repeat gossip, so listen carefully.
Lord, if I can’t be skinny, let all my friends be fat.
My idea of cleaning the house is sweeping the floor with a glance.
Discover Wildlife! Have Kids!
“Genuine Antique Person,” Been there, done that, can’t remember!
Our policy is to always blame the computer.
Take my advice, I’m not using it!
I love to give homemade gifts… umm, which one of the kids would you like?
By the time you find greener pastures, you can’t climb the fence! That’s my story and I’m sticking too it!
Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you  do, don’t forget to
LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

QUOTES OF THE DAY
Newt Gingrich is hoping to cut into his campaign debt by charging people $50 to take a photo with him. I would pay the 50 bucks if he agreed to wear a prom dress in the photo.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“A woman here in New York claims that her blind date stole her iPhone and her wallet. She was like, ‘I have to get that iPhone back, I mean, what if he calls?'” -Jimmy Fallon

“‘Titanic’ is being re-released in 3-D, and they tried to update it a little bit to play to the younger crowd. In the new version, the captain hits the iceberg because he’s texting.” -Jay Leno

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
The maharajah of an Indian Province issued a royal decree. He ordered that no  one was to kill any wild animals while he was the country’s leader. The decree  was honored until there were so many Bengal Tigers running loose that the people  revolted and threw the maharajah from power. This is the first known instance of  the reign being called on account of the game.
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Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?What movie is this quote from?? You should see the other guy!’ Answer:Fargo. Said by Steve Buscemi after he returns to the cabin with a badly bleeding face.

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?What movie is this quote from??? ‘I don’t smoke, you quit drinking, Bob here wouldn’t even dream of looking  at another woman with lust… between the three of us, we’re practically  Jesus.’
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Monday’s Quizzler is……….
Mr. Ixolite was in Mexico on his holidays and was looking to try the hottest chili he could find. He went into a restaurant and ordered a hot one. After the fire in his mouth had been put out, and he sat there gasping for breath, the waiter came up to him and said, “Excuse me, Senor Ixolite, we are very sorry,but we accidentally gave you the wrong chili. We gave you the mild one instead of this very hot one. Would you like it?” MrIxolite paled, but being unable to speak, grabbed a napkin and wrote out the following rebus: Hose A)  Hose B) Way  Hose C) Way What was Mr. Ixolite trying to say?
Answer. NO WAY JOSE!  (No Way at Hose A)

Tuesday’s Quizzlers is……….
Using the grid below, how many words can you find? Each word must contain the central V and no letter
can be used twice, however, the letters do not have to be connected. Proper nouns are not allowed, however,
plurals are. There is at least one nine letter word.
O E R D V B R A O
Genius: 28 words. Excellent: 20 words. Good: 16 words. Average: 12 words.
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Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers; Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also