WELCOME to Tuesday April 10, 2012. Rules of Life….
1. You need only two tools. WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn’t move and it  should, use WD-40.
If it moves and shouldn’t, use the tape.
2. The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship : “I  apologize” and “You are right.”
3. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
4. When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It’s easier to eat crow  while it’s still warm.
5. The only really good advice that your mother ever gave you was, “Go! You  might meet somebody!”
6. If he/she says that you are too good for him/her. . . believe them.
7. Learn to pick your battles; ask yourself, ‘Will this matter one year  from now? How about one month? One week? One day?’
8. Never pass up an opportunity to pee.
9. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!
10. Living well really is the best revenge. Being miserable because of a bad  or former relationship
just might mean that the other person was right about  you.
11. Work is good, but it’s not that important.
12. And finally… Be really nice to your friends and family. You never know  when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan. That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you  do, don’t forget to
LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

QUOTE OF THE DAY
“The Supreme Court has ruled that anybody can be strip-searched for any
kind of arrest. That’s something to think about the next time you bring
12 items into a 10-item-or-less lane.” -Jay Leno

“Tomorrow night is the Jewish holiday of Passover. Or as we call it in Los Angeles, ‘Cinco de Matzo.'” -Conan O’Brien

“Kim Kardashian said that she wants to be a more private person. Then she was like, ‘And you can see me try in my new reality series ‘Kim Kardashian: Private Person.'” -Jimmy Fallon

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

Traveling down the interstate and needing to use the bathroom, I stopped at a rest area and headed to the restrooms. I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying: ‘Hi, how are you?’ I’m not the type to start a conversation in the restroom and I don’t know what got into me, but I answered, somewhat embarrassed, ‘Doin’ just fine.’ And the other person says: ‘So what are you up to?’ What kind of question is that? At that point, I’m thinking this is too bizarre so I say: ‘Uhhh, I’m like you, just traveling.’ At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question. ‘Can I come over?’ Ok, this question is just too weird for me but I figured I could just be polite and end the conversation. I tell them ‘No..I’m a little busy right now!’ Then I hear the person say nervously… ‘Listen, I’ll have to call you back. There’s an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions.

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?What movie is this quote from??? ‘Noah was a drunk. Look what he accomplished. And no one’s even asking you to  build an ark. All you have to do is go to New Jersey.’ Answer: A great Kevin Smith movie.

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?What movie is this quote from???
‘Jimmy was the kind of guy that rooted for bad guys in the movies.’

Monday’s Quizzler is……….
This teaser is in honor of man’s quest to quench his thirst with non-alcoholic beverages.  Can you figure out what drinks are depicted below? 1.  Joint between thigh and lower leg + having great elevation + yielding readily to pressure + swallowing liquid contents. 2.  A practitioner of medicine + spicy hot pod like fruit that grows on plants. 3.  Dried and powdered rhizome used as spice + another name for beer. 4.  Underground portion of a plant + another name for ale. 5.  A natural elevation of the earth’s surface having considerable mass and a height greater than that of a hill + water droplets condensed from the air. 6.  A powder made from cacao seeds + tropical African evergreen plant having reddish fragrant nutlike seeds.
Answer. 1.  Nehi Soft Drink.  (Knee + high + soft + drink.)  2.  Dr Pepper.  (Doctor + pepper.)  3.  Ginger Ale.  (Ginger + ale.)    4.  Root Beer.  (Root + beer.) 5.  Mountain Dew.  (Mountain + Dew.) 6.  Coca-Cola.  (Cocoa + Kola.)

Tuesday’s Quizzlers is……….
he’s back with more!!! Oxy, after finding that his first teaser had such great success, decided to find some more oxymorons and come up with another brain teaser!  Now, your task is the same as last time: Can you figure out which well known oxymorons these words are? Ex) Initial facsimile = original copy
1) discovered lost 2) bigger part 3) sugary sour 4) sad humor 5) solitary in company

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also