WELCOME to Thursday October 11, 2012. How about some 1 liners???
If I got a penny for everyone I’ve met who is as beautiful as you, I’d have all the money in the world.
Some people have skeletons in their closet. I have a whole graveyard!
I bet you I could stop gambling.
I think I’m agnostic, but I haven’t decided.
I can’t get enough minimalism.
I was born to be a pessimist. My blood type is B Negative.
Do ten millipedes equal one centipede?
A liberal is just a conservative that hasn’t been mugged yet.
Once we had Clinton, Johnny Cash and Bob Hope. Now we have Bush, no Cash and no Hope.
If Helen Keller had ESP, would you say she had a fourth sense?
The best contraceptive for old people is nudity.
Have you been to Wal-Mart lately? You have to be 300 pounds to get the automatic doors to open.
I’ve been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.
I wondered why the Frisbee was getting bigger, and then it hit me.
Those that forget the pasta are doomed to reheat it.
Take everything in moderation. Including moderation.
There are two rules for success: 1.) Don’t tell all you know.
Some days it’s not worth chewing through the straps.
Do not follow, for I may not lead. Do not lead, for I may not follow. Just go over there somewhere, please?
Never go to bed angry, stay awake and plot your revenge.
If at first you don’t succeed, try left field.
When at the window at the unemployment office, loudly say, “I didn’t get to where I am today by listening to people like you!”
Sacred cows make the best hamburgers.
I got some new underwear yesterday. Well, it was new to me.
If #2 pencils are the most popular, are they still #2?
I used to be a lifeguard, but some blue kid got me fired.
I live in California, and my watch is three hours fast, I can’t fix it, so I’m moving to New York.
I don’t want buns of steel. I want buns of cinnamon.
Ask to see my tattoo of a rose, but don’t ask outside. I’m constantly bothered by bees.
It’s not who you know, it’s whom you know.
There is no “I” in “Team”, but there are four in “Platitude-Quoting Idiot”.
One goldfish says to the other, “If there’s no God, who changes our water every week?”
Hey, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Thursday people, and whatever you do,
don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman! 
QUOTES OF THE DAY
I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
Groucho Marx
I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read, and all the friends I want to see.
John Burroughs
Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.
Confucius
With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts.
Eleanor Roosevelt
I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles. Audrey Hepburn
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
A duck walks into a bar and asks, “Do you have any grapes?” The bartender says, “No, I am sorry, we have cherries and olives but no grapes.” “Oh,” says the duck and leaves. Ten minutes later the duck returns and asks the same bartender, “Do you have any grapes?” “Like I said before, we have cherries and olives, but WE DON’T HAVE GRAPES!” says the bartender. “Oh,” says the duck and leaves. But ten minutes later the duck returns and again asks, “Do you have any grapes?” “Look, beak lips,” screams the bartender. “WE HAVE NO GRAPES!, we will never have NO grapes! and if you ask me again, I am going to nail your webby little feet to the floor!!!” “Oh,” says the duck and leaves. Ten minutes later, the door swings open and the duck returns. The bartender is furious. He slams a bottle of beer down on the bar, stares menacingly at the duck and screams, “WHAT???!!” “Uh…uh…do …you …have…any….NAILS?” “Nails? Nails? No, we don’t have nails,” answers the bartender. “Mmmm,” says the duck. “So, do you have any grapes?”
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “Kids these days. They just don’t get scared like they used to.”
Answer: “Monsters, Inc” was released in 2001. The movie is about monsters and their “business” of going through children’s closet doors to scare them. However, a little girl by the name of Boo gets into their building and scares the monsters instead; except for two, who befriend her. John Goodman voiced Sully, and Billy Crystal voiced Mike. The quote is spoken by Waternoose. Waternoose is the owner of Monsters, Inc. He is also the villain. He speaks the line because the scaring meter has been considerably lower than it had been. They eventually turn their scaring business into a laughing business.
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “P. Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney.”
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
What is special about these four words? what, hole, ales, test
ANSWER: If you take each corresponding letter from each word, the same words are formed again:
What Hole Ales Test
wHat hOle aLes tEst
whAt hoLe alEs teSt
whaT holE aleS tesT
Thursday’s Quizzlers is……….
What’s this rebus?
Ptimetimetime
Etimetimetime
Etimetimetime
Ktimetimetime
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. www.schoons.com. www.awj-Law.com., http://www.greengrassgroundsgroup.com. http://www.cleancomedyguy.com
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