WELCOME to Tuesday March 5, 2013. At last a Doctor who makes sense………

Q: Doctor, I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it… Don’t waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Brandy distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two body, your ratio two to one.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can’t think of single one, sorry. My philosophy: No pain…good!

Q: Aren’t fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetable be bad?

Q : Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Oh no! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: You crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me.

Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! ‘Round’ is shape!

Well… I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember: Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways – Chardonnay in one hand – chocolate in the other – body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming “WOO-HOO, what a ride!!”

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you do today, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

QUOTES OF THE DAY
“A farmer in Oregon was eaten by his pigs. The pigs ate the farmer. But in the overall race, humans are still way ahead.” -Jay Leno

“You know what Portland has lot of? Microbreweries. I think they are like regular breweries, but only serve midgets.” -Craig Ferguson

“There’s a new technique that lets doctors perform kidney transplants in 45 minutes. Because when you’re getting a kidney transplant, your main concern is always, ‘Can you do it in less than an hour?'” -Jimmy Fallon

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
A collector of rare books ran into an acquaintance who told him he had just dumped an old Bible that he found in the attic into the local book depository. He happened to mention that Guten-somebody-or-other had printed it. “Not Gutenberg?” gasped the collector. “Yes, that was it!” “You idiot! You’ve discarded one of the first books ever printed. A copy recently sold at auction for half a million dollars!” “Oh, I don’t think this book would have been worth anything close to that much,” replied the man. “It was scribbled all over in the margins by some clown named Martin Luther.”

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? ‘Do you think I’d speak for you? I don’t even know your language!’

Answer: “The Breakfast Club” is a movie that was made in the mid-80s. It is about five high school students who are spending one Saturday together in detention. They couldn’t be more different, but they learn more about each other than they ever thought possible. This quote is said by “the Criminal” – John – to “the Jock” – Andy. By this, he means “Why would I speak for you? We’re so different, we practically come from different planets!” They had never spoken prior to this day, and wouldn’t have, without the circumstances they were in.

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? ‘Yeah, you seem like a great catcher…of doughnuts, in your mouth.’

Monday’s Quizzler is……….
I shake hands with many different people. Some pull me close and some push me away. In the end, they always leave me. What am I?

ANSWER: I am a door knob

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
What expression is hidden here?

WITI
WIT’
WITM

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! INCREDIBLE SOLVING BANKS!

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com.