WELCOME to Thursday March 21, 2013. Some Time-Honored Truths….

1. Don’t sweat the petty things, and don’t pet the sweaty things.

2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

3. One nice thing about egotists: They don’t talk about other people.

4. To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated but not be able to say it.

5. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

6. The older you get, the better you realize you were.

7. I doubt, therefore I might be.

8. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

9. Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.

10. Women like silent men, they think they’re listening.

11. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he
will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

13. A fool and his money are soon partying.

14. Do pediatricians play miniature golf on Wednesdays?

15. Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

16. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery.

17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

18. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

19. If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

20. If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?

21. If you’re born again, do you have two bellybuttons?

22. If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?

23. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

24. Why is it called tourist season if we can’t shoot at them?

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Thursday people, and whatever you do today, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

QUOTES OF THE DAY
“Things are more like they are now than they have ever been.”
– Gerald R. Ford

“I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.”
– Mark Twain

“Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.”
– Steven Wright

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
A young lady was a theater major applying for fall semester classes. At the end of the busy day she goes back to her dorm and enters in a huff of anger. “What’s wrong, Shelly?” Asks her roommate. “Well, all the acting classes are filled. I couldn’t even get into Mime class.” “Why not?” “How should I know? You can’t get a word out of those people!”

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “When I was your age they used to say you could become cops or criminals. What I’m saying to you is this…when you’re facing a loaded gun, what’s the difference?”

Answer: The Departed! Frank Costello (played by Jack Nicholson) says this at the beginning of the movie to a young Colin Sullivan, when he wants him to train as a cop. Costello cleverly has Sullivan (Matt Damon) work for the Massachusetts State Police and has him sneak information to the mafia. Costello is the leader of the Irish mafia. Billy Costigan(Leonardo DiCaprio) is a man who wants to join the police but is unable to, because of his criminal family background. He is instead chosen to work undercover in Costello’s mafia, to send information back to the State Police. The movie follows the transfer of information and the dangers both Sullivan and Costigan face while spying for the other side. It is directed by renowned director Martin Scorsese and also stars Leonardo DiCaprio, Martin Sheen and Mark Wahlberg.

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “I hope you flip your bike over and knock your two front teeth out! You leave me in the trenches taking grenades, John!”

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
Yeah, they keep me locked up, but I guess I’m thankful, in short.
I hand out the beatings, while my neighbors import and export.
We make a good team, especially me as the muscle,
But with two dozen guards, I’m glad we never tussle.
But really, I got a lotta my own connections,
Imports, exports, with thousands collectin’.
But between us, there’s really no competition,
I call it harmonizin’ cause we’re on the same mission.
No one is unnecessary, or, you know, too small,
The guy upstairs is the boss of it all.
He’s also incarcerated, but for his good I bet it is,
Business is good, so long as we get the messages.

Question: Who’s doing the talking, and who are the other players in this riddle? (there are a total of 28, minus the narrator’s connections)

ANSWER: The parentheses are used to number the parts mentioned. The HEART (1) is the one doing the talking. He is thankful to be “locked up” or guarded by the “two dozen guards,” the (24) ribs that normal humans have in 2 pairs. The ribs protect, and guard both the heart and the LUNGS. The LUNGS are the ‘neighbors’ (2) that have the job of “Importing” and “Exporting” Oxygen and Carbon Dioxide. The heart is- literally speaking- the muscle, and ‘hands out the beatings’ (heart beats). Of course, the heart itself has many “connections” or veins, arteries, and capillaries that “import” and “export” that valuable fluid we call blood. None of these members’ job is unnecessary, or small, and they never compete with each other because they have the one mission of keeping a person alive. And, last but not least, the “guy upstairs” who is “the boss of it all” is ‘incarcerated’ by-yes-the skull. He is none other than the BRAIN (1), which sends electrical messages to all the other members via nerves, which tell them what to do. Business is good so long as these messages are sent. If they aren’t, nothing is moving, and….well, then you’re DEAD. (28)

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
Inspector Ixolite of the Yard was investigating a murder at Nottonmye Manor.
It was a difficult case, and Ixolite was completely stumped until he noticed a message sent to him by the killer cunningly hidden in a newspaper advertisement selling Car Licence Plates.
Inspector Ixolite thought about it for a while, and when he had solved the puzzle, immediately arrested the guilty man.

Q1) How did Ixolite know the advert was a clue for him?

Q2) Solve the code and tell me who Ixolite arrested.

This is the newspaper advert (Car licence plates for sale) that Inspector Ixolite saw.

Plates For Sale;

[W 05 NWO]
[H 13 HSR ]
[O 05 EBM]
[D 08 UNE]
[U 10 HTY]
[N 04 BRE]
[N 16 TTE]
[I 26 LHC ]
[T 10 AEE]
[I 26 CNA]
[X 22 VDA]

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com.