Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

tell-me-more1WELCOME to Monday June 10, 2013.   Lexiphiles…..  
To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , U.C.L.A.
The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.
The batteries were given out free of charge.
A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
A will is a dead giveaway.
If you don’t pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I’ll show you A-flat miner.
You are stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.
Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.
A boiled egg is hard to beat.
When you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen a mall.
Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.
A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tired.
In a democracy it’s your vote that counts; in feudalism, it’s your Count that votes.
When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds
The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she’d dye.
Acupuncture: a jab well done.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people, and whatever you do today, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY 
 
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
Mark Twain 
Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young.
Henry Ford 
Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.
Mark Twain 
True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.
Kurt Vonnegut 
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.
Robert Frost 
How incessant and great are the ills with which a prolonged old age is replete.
C. S. Lewis 
As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do.
Andrew Carnegie
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
A husband, the owner of a new car, was somewhat reluctant to allow his wife to drove his prize possession…even to the grocery store which was a few blocks from the house. After she insisted, he finally relented, cautioning her as she departed, “Remember, if you have an accident, the newspaper will print your age!”
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “Well, there’s such a big reward being offered on all you gentlemen…that I thought I might just tag along on your next robbery. I might just turn you into the law.”
Answer:  For A Few Dollars More! The scene for this quote takes place after Monco (Eastwood) has helped one of the bandits escape from the law. Monco is asked why he helped the bandit. The quote is Monco’s response.
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from??? “Men, you are about to embark on a great crusade to stamp out runaway decency in the west. Now you men will only be risking your lives, whilst I will be risking an almost certain Academy Award nomination for Best Supporting Actor.”
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
An anagram riddle to tease you;
Three five-letter words, each gets one clue.
A guillotine’s use,
An act to get deuce,
And what you are reading now in view.
 
What are the words?  
ANSWER:  sever = the guillotine is used for beheading
serve = in tennis, to put the ball into play, deuce being a score
verse = the poem that you are reading
Monday’s Quizzler is………. 
What popular TV show is represented below? 
 
MyForgottenChildhoodSweetheart.doc 
MyOldCollegeGirlfriend.exe 
MyDivorcedWife.bat
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com,

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