Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Tuesday August 6, 2013.  

Academic Talk..
The following list of phrases and their definitions might help you understand the mysterious language of science and medicine. These special phrases are also applicable to anyone working on a Ph.D. dissertation or academic paper anywhere!
“It has long been known” = I didn’t look up the original reference.
“A definite trend is evident” = These data are practically meaningless.
“While it has not been possible to provide definite answers to the questions” = An unsuccessful experiment, but I still hope to get it published.
“Three of the samples were chosen for detailed study” = The other results didn’t make any sense.
“Typical results are shown” = This is the prettiest graph.
“These results will be in a subsequent report” = I might get around to this sometime, if pushed/funded.
“In my experience” = once.
“In case after case” = twice.
“In a series of cases” = thrice.
“It is believed that” = I think.
“It is generally believed that” = A couple of others think so, too.
“Correct within an order of magnitude” = Wrong.
“According to statistical analysis” = Rumor has it.
“A statistically oriented projection of the significance of these findings” = A wild guess.
“A careful analysis of obtainable data” = Three pages of notes were obliterated when I knocked over a glass of pop.
“It is clear that much additional work will be required before a complete understanding of this phenomenon occurs”= I don’t understand it.
“After additional study by my colleagues”= They don’t understand it either.
“Thanks are due to Joe Blotz for assistance with the experiment and to Cindy Adams for valuable discussions” = Mr. Blotz did the work and Ms. Adams explained to me what it meant.
 
“A highly significant area for exploratory study” = A totally useless topic selected by my committee.
 
“It is hoped that this study will stimulate further investigation in this field” = I quit.
 
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you do today, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY   
“Facebook has a new feature that allows you to see what you were posting a year ago. You just log on to Facebook and click on the ‘I’m wasting my life’ button.” -Conan O’Brien
“It’s rumored that AMC’s show ‘The Walking Dead’ is adding a zombie baby to the cast for next season. That’s right, a drooling, hungry creature that can’t talk or listen to reason most people just call that a baby.” -Jimmy Fallon
“Hawaii has a new service that they hope will reduce the homeless population. What they do is buy the homeless people a one-way ticket back home. If homeless people don’t want to fly, they will pay for them to go home on a cruise. That is just what the cruise industry needs  ‘Now with homeless people.'” -Jimmy Kimmel
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
In one of K.C.’s classes, they were discussing the qualifications to be president of the United States. It was pretty simple – the candidate must be a natural born citizen of at least 35 years of age. However, one girl in the class immediately started in on how unfair was the requirement to be a natural born citizen.
In short, her opinion was that this requirement prevented many capable individuals from becoming president. KC and the class were just taking it in and letting her rant, but everyone’s jaw hit the floor when she wrapped up her argu- ment by stating, “What makes a natural born citizen any more qualified to lead this country than one born by C-section?”
 
 
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “Back where I come from there are men who do nothing all day but good deeds. They are called phila… er, phila… er, yes, er, Good Deed Doers.”
 
Answer: The Wizard of Oz! This quote comes from the end of the movie, where Morgan portrays the Wizard of Oz and gives the Tin Man a red heart shaped clock to simulate a heartbeat in his chest.
 
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from??? “Pimps is an ugly word. We could call ourselves love brokers!”
 
TODAY’S MOVIE TRIVIA DIVIA AWARD GOES TO MS. KIM HILLYARD FOR SOLVING TODAY’S MOVIE TRIVIA! GREAT SOLVING JOB KIM! EmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji
 
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
What phrase is this?
 
Last Will and Testament of Mr. Fortune:
 
I hereby leave the following; To Roman Soldier : Nothing  To Viking Chief : Nothing
To Native American Warrior : Everything. 
 
ANSWER: Fortune favors the brave. A brave is a Native American warrior. 
 
 
Tuesday’s Quizzler is………. 
The following clues lead to two words or phrases that are the phonetic reverse of each other. When you answer the first clue and flip the syllables, you get the second answer. (Phonetic only, not letters.)Using the clues below, please find the words/phrases in question. 
 
Example: Impertinent * Teetertotter
Answer: Saucy/Seesaw
 
1. Fundamental * Where the doctor works on a naval ship
2. Government assistance for the poor * Goodbye
3. Worst possible Test Score * Optimistic
4. Relevant * What Jesus was born in
5. Sofa * Cups, saucers, sugar bowl, etc. (2 words)

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com, 

 

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