WELCOME to Thursday August 8, 2013. Dilbert One Liners…
1. I say no to alcohol,
It just doesn’t listen.
2. A friend in need is a pest indeed.
3. Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.
4. Work is fine if it doesn’t take too much of your time.
5. When everything comes in your way
You’re in the wrong lane.
6. The light at the end of the tunnel may be an oncoming train..
7. Born free,
Taxed to death.
8. Everyone has a photographic memory,
Some just don’t have film..
9. Life is unsure;
Always eat your dessert first.
10. Smile,
It makes people wonder what you are thinking.
11. If you keep your feet firmly on the ground,
You’ll have trouble putting on your pants.
12. It’s not hard to meet expenses,
They are everywhere.
13. I love being a writer…
What I can’t stand is the paperwork.
14. A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
15. The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot.
The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius.
16. The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.
17. In a country of free speech,
Why are there phone bills?
18. If you cannot change your mind,
Are you sure you have one?
19. Beat the 5 O’clock rush,
Leave work at noon!
20. If you can’t convince them,
Confuse them.
21. It’s not the fall that kills you.
It’s the sudden stop at the end.
22. I couldn’t repair your brakes,
So, I made your horn louder!
23. Hot glass looks same as cold glass.
24. The cigarette does the smoking,
You are just the sucker.
25. Someday is not a day of the week.
26. Whenever I find the key to success,
Someone changes the lock.
27. To Err is human,
To forgive is not a company policy.
28. The road to success….
Is always under construction.
29. Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems,
But, if you think again, neither does milk.
30. In order to get a loan,
You first need to prove that you don’t need it.
And my favorite …
31. All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive, fattening or married to someone else.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people, and whatever you do today, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY
“Concentration is my motto. First honesty, then industry, then concentration.”
– Andrew Carnegie
“Whatever you are, be a good one.”
– Abraham Lincoln
“Imagination is more important than knowledge…”
– Albert Einstein
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
On duty as a customer-service rep for a car-rental company, I took a call from a driver who needed a tow. He was stranded on a busy highway, but he didn’t know the make of the car he was driving. I asked again for a more detailed description beyond a “blue, four-door sedan.”
“It’s the one on fire,” he replied.
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “What am I gonna say? I killed the president of Paraguay with a fork. How have you been?”
Answer: Grosse Pointe Blank! This quote comes during a conversation between Martin Blank and his psychologist (Alan Arkin). It demonstrates why he is reluctant to attend his ten year high school reunion.
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from??? “Would ya look at the size of that kid’s head It’s the size of a planetoid and it has its own weather system. Looks like an orange on a toothpick.”
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
What phrase is represented below?
Hearing: 3 units
Sight: 0 units
Smell: 1 unit
Taste: 5 units
Mind: 0 units
Feeling: 6 units
ANSWER: Out of sight, out of mind. From the inventory list we see that there are no units of “sight” or “mind” so we are “out of them”.
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Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
The following clues lead to two words or phrases that are the phonetic reverse of each other. When you answer the first clue and flip the syllables, you get the second answer. (Phonetic only, not letters.)Using the clues below, please find the words/phrases in question.
Example: Impertinent * Teetertotter
Answer: Saucy/Seesaw
1. A clock or watch * Period between wars (2 words)
2. Fabulous * Chase after
3. Have faith in * Not disturb (2 words)
4. European weight, informally * Understated (Hyphenated)
5. Student, say, with a summer office job * Go to bed (2 words)
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com,
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