WELCOME to Monday May 5, 2014.
Top Ten Reasons Why Dogs Are Better Pets Than Cats………
1. Dogs will tilt their heads and try to understand every word you say.
Cats will ignore you and take a nap.
2. Cats look silly on a leash.
3. When you come home from work, your dog will be happy and lick your face.
Cats will still be mad at you for leaving in the first place.
4. Dogs will give you unconditional love until the day they die. Cats will make you
pay for every mistake you’ve ever made since the day you were born.
5. A dog knows when you’re sad. And he’ll try to comfort you. Cats don’t care how
you feel, as long as you remember where the can opener is.
6. Dogs will bring you your slippers. Cats will drop a dead mouse in your slippers.
7. When you take them for a ride, dogs will sit on the seat next to you. Cats have
to have their own private basket, or they won’t go at all.
8. Dogs will come when you call them. And they’ll be happy. Cats will have
someone take a message and get back to you.
9. Dogs will play fetch with you all day long. The only thing cats will play with all
day long are small rodents or bugs, preferably ones that look like they’re in pain.
10. Dogs will wake you up if the house is on fire. Cats will quietly sneak out the back door.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people and whatever you do,
don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY
“The Republicans in Congress voted no on the minimum wage. Wow, that’s not the Republicans I know. I think they’re confused. We’re supposed to apply the economic sanctions to the Russians.” –David Letterman
“Yesterday Russia’s deputy prime minister said the White House should revise its sanctions or else his country won’t help NASA. And this is true, astronauts will have to start using a trampoline to get to space.” –Jimmy Fallon
“L.A. Clippers owner Donald Sterling was recorded on tape making racist comments. He now has been banned from the league for life. Great, just where Sterling wanted to end up – the blacklist” –Jimmy Fallon
“On the bright side, at least Sterling still has a wife and girlfriend to lean on.” –Jimmy Fallon
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That’s relativity. Albert Einstein
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe. Albert Einstein
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news. Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first. Doctor: The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live. Patient: 24 HOURS! That’s terrible!! WHAT could be WORSE? What’s the very bad news? Doctor: I’ve been trying to reach you since yesterday.
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? Man: “Seems there’s a couple of numbers missing on your social security number.”
Man 2: “Uh, uhhhh, 12.”
Man 2: “Uh, uhhhh, 12.”
Answer: The movie Big! When a boy wishes to be big at a magic wish machine, he wakes up the next morning and finds himself in an adult body. Starring Tom Hanks!
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this
quote from??? “Well enough about me, let’s talk about you. What do you think about me?”
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
You have no skill at magic tricks, yet you make a bet with your friend for $25. You tell him to pick a card, take a look at it, and put it back in the deck. You then shuffle the deck as many times as your friend wishes. You will then hand back your friend’s chosen card. Even though you possess no magic skill whatsoever, and you have no idea what your friend picked, you can still win this bet. How?
Answer: You hand back the deck. You have just handed back the chosen card.
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
Below are 3 pairs of words. Find the words that fit in the middle of each pair of words to create two new words, one front-ended and one back-ended.
Example: EVER – ______ – HORN
Answer: EVER – GREEN – HORN
1. LENGTH – _______ – CRACK
2. WITH – _______ – OVER
3. MAKE – _______ – LESS
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com, 
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