Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Wednesday, February 3, 2016.  

On The Job Wisdom……….

1. If you do a good job and work hard, you may get a job with a better company someday.

2. The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.

3. Sure, you may not like working here, but we pay your rent.

4. Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings — they did it by killing all those who opposed them.

5. A person who smiles in the face of adversity probably has a scapegoat.

6. If at first you don’t succeed–try management.

7. Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.

8. Never quit until you have another job.

9. Hang in there: Retirement is only 30 years away!

10. Go the extra mile–It makes your boss look like an incompetent slacker.

11. Pride, commitment, teamwork–words we use to get you to work for free.

12. Work: It isn’t just for sleeping anymore.

13. There are two kinds of people in life: people who like their jobs, and people who don’t work here anymore

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!     

 

DAILY QUOTES….    

“Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened.” –Sir Winston Churchill 

“Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.” –Oscar Wilde 

“Never have children, only grandchildren.” –Gore Vidal  

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

Upon entering a little country store, the stranger noticed a sign warning, “Danger! Beware of dog!” posted on the glass door. Inside, he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register.

“Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?” he asked the owner.

“Yep, that’s him,” came the reply.

The stranger couldn’t help but be amused. “That certainly doesn’t look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?”

“Because,” the owner explained, “Before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him.” 

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  ‘Congratulations. On a scale of one to ten on the perversity meter you just hit a seventy three.’

Answer:  House on Haunted Hill! Steven said it to Evelyn discussing her birthday party plan over the phone.

Tuesday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ‘It’s an alternate universe man, completely unlike the one we know, filled with big blonde guys who eat ivy and row boats.’

 
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….

 After recent events, Question Mark is annoyed with his brother, Skid Mark. Skid thought it would be funny to hide Question’s wallet. He told Question that he would get it back if he finds it. So, first off, Skid laid five colored keys in a row. One of them is a key to a room where Skid is hiding Question’s wallet. Using the clues, can you determine the order of the keys and which is the right key?

Red: This key is somewhere to the left of the key to the door.

Blue: This key is not at one of the ends.

Green: This key is three spaces away from the key to the door (2 between).

Yellow: This key is next to the key to the door.

Orange: This key is in the middle.  

ANSWER:  The order (from left to right) is Green, Red, Orange, Blue, Yellow.  The blue key is the key to the door.

 

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….

We’re all nuts .. can you name us?

1. Big country in South America.

2. A pod is my pad.

3. This came down in Germany.

4. Confection ingredient.

5. Sneaking a look-on.

6. Gorillas show dominance by beating this.

7. May be found in the company of a witch. 

Scoring:

1-3 right. Sorry, you’re normal.

4-5 right. I’m beginning to worry about you!

6-7 right. Definitely certifiable nut expert!

 
    

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/  EmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.com.

 

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