WELCOME to Thursday, February 18, 2016.  

1. I like European food so I decided to Russia over there because I was Hungary. After Czech’ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter ‘Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite’. 

2. England doesn’t have a kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool  

3. It is tough to do inventories in Afghanistan because of the tally ban. 

4. It’s a lengthy article on Japanese Sword Fighters but I can Samurais it for you. 

5. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.  

6. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.  

7. Visitors to Cuba are usually Havana good time.  

8. The Irish should be rich because their capital is always Dublin.  

9. I would like to go to Holland one day, wooden shoe?  

10. Never make fun of a Scotsman’s traditional garb. You could get kilt that way.

11. Show me someone in denial and I’ll show you a person in Egypt up to their ankles.  

12. When I go to West Africa I’m Ghana make sure Togo to Mali and then I can say I’ve Benin Timbuktu. 

13. If you said you were from South America, I would not Bolivia.  

14. Italian building inspectors in Pisa are leanient.  

15. Things made in Australia are high koala-ty.  

16. Britain is a wet place since the queen has had a long reign.  

17. The incontinent Scotsman had a wee accident.  

18. In a Scandinavian race the last Lapp crossed the Finnish line.  

19. While in Mexico, the chinese diplomat got a ticket for going the Wong way on the Juan Way street.  

20. Did you know that donuts were first made in Greece? 

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!     

 

DAILY QUOTES….    

 “Valentine’s Day was yesterday. So, if I look like I didn’t get much sleep, it’s because the couch was really uncomfortable.” -Seth Meyers 

“I make my choice for president based on how well each candidate would handle an alien invasion.” -Jimmy Kimmel 

“The former president of Trader Joe’s is opening a store that sells only expired food. The new store will be known as 7-Eleven.” -Conan O’Brien 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

Millions of years ago, there was no such thing as the wheel. One day, some primitive guys were watching their wives drag a dead mastodon to the food & fire area. It was exhausting work; the guys were getting tired just watching.

Then they noticed some large, smooth, rounded boulders and they had a great idea! They could sit on top of the boulders and get a better view of their wives working.

This was the first in a series of breakthroughs that ultimately led to television…and later to the remote control.  

 

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “We ain’t robbing stagecoaches up in here.” 

Answer:  Set It Off! Said by Cleo, to Dre while negotiating guns for the bank robbery.

Thursday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “All I know is the choices we make dictate the life we lead. To thine own self be true!”

 

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….

Inside each set of the following words, there is a pair of smaller words. By putting & between them, lo & behold, you’ll make a familiar phrase. For example, “Thighbone/Swallowtail” conceals “High & Low.” 

1. Firecracker/Misconstruing 

2. Blockbuster/Doohickey 

3. Shunting/Bespeckled 

4. Proliferation/Climbable 

5. Heartstrings/Consciences 

ANSWER: 1. Rack & Ruin   2. Lock & Key    3. Hunt & Peck   4. Life & Limb   5. Arts & Sciences  

 

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….

Kemal and his parents are part of an expedition that is going to settle a new planet, called Pluvia Three. Kemal knows that at the colony site on the planet, the average temperature is 45 degrees Centigrade, average wind speeds are 8,000 meters per hour, the planet rotates on its axis 431 times for every time it goes around its sun, and each rotation takes a third longer than Earth’s. Rainfall is 254 centimeters per year, and gravity is about 78% of Earth’s. Kemal is allowed to pack any four items from this list of his favorite belongings.

down-filled parka 

battery-powered portable refrigerator 

Asian fighting kite 

baseball bat 

Mickey Mouse® calendar watch 

inflatable raft 

hockey skates 

book collection 

Which four items should Kemal pack?

 

                                                              

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS FOR SUPER SOLVING! 

   

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/  

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.org. www.GodLovesPraise.com.