WELCOME to Tuesday, February 23, 2016.
A man’s translations….
(These translations are for all of you wonderful women out there, so that you will know what we really mean when we say…)
“IT’S A GUY THING” Translated:* “There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.”
“CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?” Translated:* “Why isn’t it already on the table?”
“UH HUH,” “SURE, HONEY,” OR “YES, DEAR” Translated:* Absolutely nothing. It’s a conditioned response.
“IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN” Translated:* “I have no idea how it works.”
“TAKE A BREAK, HONEY. YOU’RE WORKING TOO HARD.” Translated:* “I can’t hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.”
“THAT’S INTERESTING, DEAR.” Translated:* “Are you still talking?”
“YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS.” Translated:* “I remember the theme song to ‘F Troop,’ the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I’ve ever owned… but I forgot your birthday.”
“OH, DON’T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF. IT’S NO BIG DEAL.” Translated:* “I have actually severed a limb but will bleed to death before I admit that I’m hurt.”
“HEY, I’VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I’M DOING.” Translated:* “And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon.”
“I CAN’T FIND IT.” Translated:* “It didn’t fall into my outstretched hands, so I’m completely clueless.”
“WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?” Translated:* “What did you catch me at?”
“I’M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE.” Translated:* “No one will ever see us alive again.”
“WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK.” Translated:* “I make the messes; she cleans them up.”
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
“I admit that I get angry in traffic when driving to work. But it’s pointless. It’s much better to bottle up that anger and then unleash it when you get to work.” -Craig Ferguson
“A new study found that our happiness peaks in our late 80s. Mainly because all the people who annoyed you are dead by then.” -Jimmy Fallon
“A study showed that every hour of TV you watch after the age of 25 shortens your life by 22 minutes. That doesn’t sound too bad to me. You’d probably watch TV with that 22 minutes anyway.” -Jimmy Kimmel
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
A woman said to her friend, “I don’t know what to do. My husband is such a mess maker that you can’t imagine. He doesn’t put anything in its place, I am always going around the house organizing things.”
The friend says, “Take a tip from me. The first week after we were married I told my husband firmly, ‘Every glass and plate that you take, wash when you are done and put back in its place.'”
The first woman asked, “Did it help?”
Her friend said, “I don’t know. I haven’t seen him since.”
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???“You’re getting wet right?”
Answer: Dirty Dancing! This is when Johnny realized he locked his keys in the car. He breaks the window to open the door. Baby watches all this in awe. As he is holding the door open for her he says this because they are standing in the rain.
Tuesday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “I will bust you!”
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
Inside each set of the following words, there are a pair of smaller words. By putting & between them, lo & behold, you’ll make a familiar phrase. For example, “Thighbone/Swallowtail” conceals “High & Low.”
ANSWER: 1. Live & Learn
2. Come & Go
3. Hill & Dale
4. Trial & Error
5. Show & Tell
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
Someone has stolen Beethoven’s Wig and has put it in one of four locked boxes. The boxes are numbered from 1,2,3,4 in that order. There are four different keys that each has their own color. Use the clues below to figure out which key goes in which box and to find the box where Beethoven’s wig is being kept.
1. The green key goes to the third or fourth box
2. The wig is to the left of the fourth box
3. The wig is to the right of the first box
4. The yellow key is to the left of the wig
5. The blue key is to the right of the yellow key and to the left of the green key
6. The red key goes to the first box
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS FOR SUPER SOLVING!
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/