WELCOME to Friday, March 4, 2016.
Yes, I am a Senior Citizen…..
I’m the life of the party – even if it lasts until 8 pm.
I’m very good at opening childproof caps – with a hammer.
I’m usually interested in going home before I get to where I am going.
I’m smiling all the time because I can’t hear a thing you’re saying.
I’m very good at telling stories; over and over and over and over…………..
I’m not really grouchy, I just don’t like traffic, waiting, crowds, lawyers, loud music, unruly kids, barking dogs, politicians and a few other things I can’t seem to remember right now.
I’m wrinkled, saggy, lumpy, and that’s just my left leg.
I’m sure they are making adults much younger these days, and when did they let kids become policemen?
And, how can my kids be older than I feel sometimes?
I’m wondering, if you’re only as old as you feel, how could I be alive at 150?
I’m a walking storeroom of facts – I’ve just lost the key to the storeroom door.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great weekend people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
‘The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does.’ Anonymous
He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive
incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which. Douglas Adams
‘I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.’ Charles Lamb.
‘When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues
generally present him with a watch.’ R C Sherriff.
‘Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed
through life trying to save.’ Will Rogers, Autobiography, 1949.
‘It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.’ Scott Elledge.
‘When one door closes, another one opens, but we often look so long and regretfully
at the closed door that we fail to see the one that has opened for us.’ Alexander Graham Bell.
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
Top 10 Senior Texting Codes
* ATD – At the Doctor’s
* BFF – Best Friend’s Funeral
* BTW – Bring the Wheelchair
* BYOT – Bring Your Own Teeth
* DWI – Driving While Incontinent
* FWIW – Forgot Where I Was
* FYI – Found Your Insulin
* LOL – Living on Lipitor
* ROFL…CGU – Rolling on the Floor Laughing…Can’t get Up!
* TOT – Texting on Toilet
* WWNO – Walker Wheels Need Oil
Hope these help. GGLKI (Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking in!)
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? ‘Twenty dwarves took turns doing handstands on the carpet.’
Answer: Bugsy! A mafia movie.
Friday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ‘Am I too late for Alexander’s panic attack? I guess not.’
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
Discovered in Africa, I spread like a tide
To become a hot staple known the world wide.
A necessity to some, a treasure to many,
I’m best enjoyed among pleasant company.
Some like me hot and some like me cold.
Some prefer mild, others only bold.
Some take me straight, while some like to savor
My essence to which has been added a flavor.
So put down your cares and sit awhile with me;
I’ll send you back refreshed and full of energy.
ANSWER: Coffee. It was first discovered in the area of Africa now called Ethiopia. Legend has it that a goat herder observed his goats acting unusually frisky after eating berries from a bush. When he tried them himself, his energy was renewed. And the rest is history.
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS AND MS. KIM HILLYARD! SUPER SOLVING WORK LADIES!
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/