Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Wednesday, May 11, 2016.   

Twenty Examples of Murphy’s Law…. 

1. Law of Mechanical Repair – After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you’ll have to go to the rest room.

2. Law of Gravity – Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

3. Law of Probability – The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4. Law of Random Numbers – If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

5. Law of the Alibi – If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tyre, the very next morning you will have a flat tyre.

6. Variation Rider – If you change traffic lanes, the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now. This also works in supermarkets and shops.

7. Law of the Bath – When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

8. Decree of Close Encounters – The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with. This is also the case if you are female and you have gone out with no makeup and wearing your worst clothes and with greasy hair.

9. Murphy’s Office Law – When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will. Will also finds this when he shows someone that something on the computer is easy and it doesn’t work.

10. Law of Biomechanics – The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

11. Law of the Theatre – At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

12. The Starbucks Edict – As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

13. Murphy’s Law of Lockers – If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

14. Law of Physical Surfaces – The chances of an open-faced marmalade sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet.

15. The Conundrum of Logical Argument – Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about.

16. Brown’s Law of Physical Appearance – If the shoe fits, it’s ugly.

17. Oliver’s Rule of Public Speaking – A closed mouth gathers no feet.  

18. Wilson’s Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy – As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

19. Doctors’ Law – If you don’t feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you’ll feel better. Don’t make an appointment and you’ll stay sick.

20. Eucman’s Law – If you don’t save things on your computer you will, sooner rather than later, delete them.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!     

 

DAILY QUOTES….    

“Well done is better than well said.” –Benjamin Franklin 

“If winning isn’t everything, why do they keep score?” –Vince Lombardi 

“I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up – they have no holidays.”  –Henny Youngman   

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 

A consultant at St Mary’s Hospital, Portsmouth, England tells me that while passing through a frantic ENT [Ear, Nose and Throat] clinic, he overheard this curious bit of conversation:

Senior surgeon (angrily) : ‘For goodness sake, nurse, get me my auriscope.’ [a medical device which is used to look into the ears].

Distracted young nurse : ‘But doctor, I don’t even know your star sign.’Emoji 

 

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “I know; we could have the police send over one of their sketch artists, and Ms. Balbricker could give a description.” 

Answer: Porky’s! This was said by Coach Brakett (Boyd Gaines) in the presence of Principal Carter (Eric Christmas), Ms. Balbricker (Nancy Parsons), and the other two boys’ coaches. They were throwing around ideas regarding how to deal with Tommy Turner (Wyatt Knight) after his tallywhacker was “last seen hanging out in the girls’ locker room at Angel Beach High”. They all cracked up laughing (except for Ms. Balbricker, of course). Principal Carter tried to keep a straight face for as long as possible, but completely lost it after this crack. “Please, do not attempt to apprehend [it], as it is armed and dangerous.” One of the funniest scenes in movie history.  

Wednesday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???  “Jeffrey Dahmer?! Jeffrey Dahmer?! I love that guy!”  

 

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….

What drink does this represent? 

180 degree arc 

360 degree arc 

180 degree arc 

180 degree arc 

360 degree arc 

90 degree lines 

 

ANSWER: COCA COLA

[180 degree arc – C

360 degee arc – O

90 degree lines – L] 

 

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….

Can you make this sentence into a phrase by only adding punctuation? You may not add, subtract, or rearrange the words. Good luck.

that that is is that that is not is not is that it it is

 
 
 

THE QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MR. ANDY ZARUBA! GREAT JOB ANDY!

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LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/  Emoji EmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.com.

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