Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Wednesday, August 24, 2016.   

Marriage Advice 101…

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. 

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. 

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot & not try to understand her at all.

Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

Any married man should forget his mistakes, there’s no use in two people remembering the same thing.

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. 

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t. 

A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she does.

A woman has the last word in any argument. 

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

There are two times when a man doesn’t understand a woman – before marriage and after marriage.

My opinions are my wife’s, and she says I’m lucky to have them.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!    

 

DAILY QUOTES….  

 “If you cannot convince them, confuse them.” –Harry S. Truman 

“Be sincere; be brief; be seated.” –Franklin D. Roosevelt 

“Man is the Only Animal that Blushes. Or needs to.” –Mark Twain 

 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave.

The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, ‘Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?’

The first man approached him and said, ‘Sir, I don’t wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I’ve ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply?  A child?  A parent?’

The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied…….. ‘My wife’s first husband.’Emoji 

 

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “THERE’S ALWAYS TIME FOR LUBRICANT!”

ANSWER: Evolution! Dr. Harry Block (Orlando Jones) said this when Dr. Paulson (Wayne Duvall) was about to perform surgery, after an alien had entered Harry’s rectal cavity. The nurse said, “I’ll get the lubricant.” Dr. Paulson replied, “There’s no time for lubricant”, to which Harry responded with the above quote (probably the same quote any of us would have responded with). 

Wednesday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “Wait, you can’t leave; I have to work late. If you can’t work late, I can’t work late. If I can’t work late, I CAN’T WORK LATE!”

 

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….

What do the following sentences have in common?

Tracy, no panic in a pony cart!

But not now a wonton tub!

Marge let a moody baby doom a telegram.  

ANSWER:   They are all palindromic sentences, sentences that read the same backwards as they do forwards! If you read the hint, then you might have also figured out that the hint was a palindrome, too.

 

 

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….

If to you I’m given you should thankfully receive,

Then look me over carefully, just don’t look at my teeth.

Show me to a cool stream and I’ll follow willingly,

Though I might not do what you want, although parched I may be,

But if you’re really hungry and are looking for a bite,

I don’t think you could eat me even though you say you might.

Decipher all these clues and then together they should tie

To help you solve the question which, of course, is “what am I?”

 
 
 
 
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/      

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.com.

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