Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏


WELCOME to Tuesday, January 3, 2016.   

Business 101…….
The more time you spend in reporting on what you are doing, the less time you have to do it in. Stability is achieved when you spend all your time doing nothing but reporting on the nothing you are doing.
The more trivial your research, the more people will read it and agree.
The more vital your research, the less people will understand it.
The more you run over a cat, the flatter it gets.
The most important item in an order will no longer be available.
The most interesting results happen only once.
The most savage controversies are those about matters as to which there is no good evidence either way.
The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from.
The number of people watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.
The obscure a bureaucrat may see eventually; the completely apparent takes forever.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great day people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!

Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!


“My New Year’s resolution this year was to get a gym membership, use it twice, and then never use it again. I’m already halfway there.” -Jimmy Kimmel
“A seventh grade teacher in California was arrested for teaching while drunk. Which is why an entire Earth Science class now thinks hurricanes are formed when rum collides with lime juice, passion fruit, and crushed ice in a hot pink souvenir cup from Senor Frog’s.” -Jimmy Fallon
“New research came out that reveals that being attractive in high school leads to success later in life. So finally some good news for hot, popular teenagers.” -Conan O’Brien

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 

Rushing to get to the movies, my husband and I told the kids we had to leave “right now”at which point our teenage daughter headed for the bathroom to apply makeup. Her dad yelled for her to get in the car immediately, and headed for the garage grumbling.
On the way to the multiplex my husband glanced in the rearview mirror and caught our teen applying lipstick and blush, which produced the predictable lecture. “Look at your mom,” he said. “She didn’t put on any makeup just to go sit in a dark movie theater.”
From the back I heard, “Yeah, but Mom doesn’t need makeup.”
My heart swelling with the compliment, I turned back to thank this sweet, wonderful daughter of mine just as she continued, “Nobody looks at her.”

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? ‘In his eagerness to save you, your God has also saved the Roman fleet!’

ANSWER:  Ben Hur ! Spoken by Quintus Arrius (Jack Hawkins) to Judah Ben-Hur (Charlton Heston).


Tuesday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???   ‘I’m 60 years old, Gene. What are you going to do, write me a recommendation for the morgue?’

Monday’s Quizzler is……….

What 3 words can the following 3 words start with? Once you work it out, you must find a relation between the 3 ADDED words.
1. _ _ _ scotch
2. _ _ _ _ child
3. _ _ _ _ suit

ANSWER: 1. HOPscotch: A children’s game where they throw a stone on the ground then jump in the squares marked in the ground.

2. STEPchild: A stepson or stepdaughter.
3. JUMPsuit: One-piece garment of combined trousers and top.
Relation: The 3 steps in triple jump. And by total coincidence, this is the 3rd relativity puzzle.


Tuesday’s Quizzler is………. 

Bob Lowry was going to compete in a marathon. He called the number he heard on the radio and signed up with his 2 friends. He started running and was doing a good job, but 1/3 of the way through, he stopped and did not continue running for the duration of the race. However, his name appeared as one of the top runners in the newspaper the next day. How did he do that?
He did not take a shortcut or cheat in any way.
Hundreds of people finished the race.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at 



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