Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏


WELCOME to Friday, March 17, 2017.                            

Hilarious High School Science Examination Answers………….. 
Nitrogen is not found in Ireland because it is not found in a free state.
Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes, and caterpillars.
Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative.
The moon is a planet just like the Earth, only it is even deader. Science schoolboy howlers
The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects.
A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is.
For fainting: Rub the person’s chest, or, if it’s a lady, rub her arm above the hand. Or put her head between the knees of the nearest medical doctor.
Equator: a menagerie lion running around Earth through Africa.
Rhubarb: a kind of celery gone bloodshot.
Water is composed of two gins, oxygin and hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.
The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have been taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is so that there is something to hitch the meat to.
To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose.
The body consists of three parts – the brainium, the borax and the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain. The borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowels,
of which there are five – A, E, I, O, and U.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great weekend people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES…  Life is a train of moods like a string of beads; and as we pass through them they prove to be many colored lenses, which paint the world their own hue, and each shows us only what lies in its own focus. Ralph Waldo Emerson



The happiness of life is made up of minute fractions—the little, soon-forgotten charities of a kiss or smile, a kind look or heartfelt compliment. Samuel Taylor Coleridge
If you have a look at life from the viewpoint of lifetimes, instead of the life of your body, you will understand. The problem is that we base our decisions on such a small timescale. Ken Dyers
We are here to add what we can to life, not to get what we can from it. William Osler
I’ve learned that no matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that. Don’t worry about what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and do that. Because what the world needs are people who have come alive. Howard Thurman

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  A little girl called Martha was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.  Martha stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, ‘When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah’.
The teacher asked, ‘What if Jonah went to hell?’
Martha replied, ‘Then you ask him’.😱
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???

‘I offered you the world, and at the first test of honor I betrayed your trust.’

ANSWER: Ever After A Cinderella Story! Spoken by Prince Henry (Dougray Scott) to Danielle de Barbarac (Drew Barrymore).

Friday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ‘The jail you planned for me is the one you’re gonna rot in.’

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
You have no control over me,
I am not real, though sometimes you believe me,
I come back every night, but am often forgotten,
Though left alone, I will never become rotten,
Sometimes I remind you of things yet to come,
Sometimes, watching me, you do things you’ve never done,
I rarely ever turn out to be true,
Now I am done with this riddle for you.
What am I?

ANSWER: A dream. You cannot pick what your dream is going to be. Though they are not real, when you are asleep it seems real. You have a dream every night, but most people forget them.

No one ever bothers, visits, or takes care of dreams (of course not, you can’t!) but they don’t get rotten (they’re intangible, so how could they?)
Sometimes, if an important event is coming up, you will have a dream about it. In dreams, you may do impossible things. The events in dreams rarely happen.




Friday’s Quizzler is………. The name GEORGe mIchAel has the state GEORGIA hidden inside it, in order from left to right. Can you find the states hidden in each of the following?


LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at 



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