WELCOME to Friday, March 31, 2017.
What was Forrest Gump’s email password? “1forrest1”
A courtroom artist was arrested today for an unknown reason… details are sketchy.
I’m no photographer, but I can picture us together.
I wanna make a joke about sodium, but Na..
Did you hear about the Italian chef with a terminal illness? He pastaway.
I hate insects puns, they really bug me.
What do prisoners use to call each other? Cell phones.
Why did the bee get married? Because he found his honey.
Why don’t cannibals eat clowns? They taste funny.
Q: What did one ocean say to the other ocean? A: Nothing, they just waved.
I was going to give him a nasty look, but he already had one.
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic
I am so poor I can’t even pay attention.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
My math teacher called me average. How mean!
I swear to drunk I’m not God, but seriously, stay in drugs, eat school, and don’t do vegetables.
I saw an ad for burial plots, and thought to myself this is the last thing I need.
I relish the fact that you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup to me.
Which day do chickens hate the most? Friday.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station. (UnoJaman
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great weekend people, and whatever you do,
don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
DAILY QUOTES… 1. “One day you will kiss a man you can’t breathe without and find that breath is of little consequence.” ― Karen Marie Moning, Bloodfever
2. “You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.” ― Dr. Seuss
3. “There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment.” ― Sarah Dessen, The Truth About Forever
4. “I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close.” ― Pablo Neruda, 100 Love Sonnets (JenniferStrayUNOthis)
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. There was a tribe in Africa which was very fierce and warring…they would battle all the tribes in the area, and they always won. As a victory trophy, they would take the throne of the chief of the defeated tribe and carry it home, chanting victory chants and singing the whole way. When they got home, they would put the throne in the attic of the grass hut. This went on for quite some time, and soon the throne collection grew, adding to the prestige of the tribe.
One day, they battled a tribe of farily large people, some might call them giants. They won, and they struggled to get the throne home…but the chanting and joyesness prevailed as usual. When they got home, they had the ritual of putting the throne in the attic of the grass hut, but the weight was too much. The ceiling collapsed, killing everyone on the tribe.
The moral: People who live in grass houses shouldn’t stow thrones.
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???
‘I’ve never been alone with a man before, even with my dress on. With my dress off, it’s MOST unusual.’
ANSWER: Roman Holiday! Spoken by Princess Ann (Audrey Hepburn) to Joe Bradley (Gregory Peck).
Friday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ‘Love to! Love the bags, love the shoes, love everything. Love to!’
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
The letter “o” has been removed from the following words. Can you guess them all?
ANSWER: 1) outdoor 2) obnoxious 3) odorous 4) onlooker 5) onomatopoeia 6) opposition 7) orthodox 8) cockatoo 9) portobello 10) voodoo
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! SMOOTH SOLVING BANKS!
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.org. www.GodLovesPraise.com, www.stlzoo.org