Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏


WELCOME to Tuesday March 20, 2018.

Mother’s dictionary….

Bottle feeding: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am too.

Defense: What you’d better have around de yard if you’re going to let the children play outside.

Drooling: How teething babies wash their chins.

Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

Family planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep
you on the edge of financial disaster

Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots.

Full name: What you call your child when you’re mad at him.

Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they’re
sure you’re not raising them right.

Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.

Independent: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.

Look out: What it’s too late for your child to do by the time you scream it.

Prenatal: When your life was still somewhat your own.

Prepared childbirth: A contradiction in terms.

Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies
wearing dry shoes into it.

Show off: A child who is more talented than yours.

Sterilize: What you do to your first baby’s pacifier by boiling it
and to your last baby’s pacifier by blowing on it.

Storeroom: The distance required between the supermarket
aisles so that children in shopping carts can’t quite reach anything.

Temper tantrums: What you should keep to a minimum so as
to not upset the children.

Top bunk: Where you should never put a
child wearing Superman jammies.

Two-minute warning: When the baby’s face turns red and she begins to
make those familiar grunting noises.

Verbal: Able to whine in words

Whodunit: None of the kids that live in your house.

Whoops: An exclamation that translates roughly into “get a sponge.”

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

“Toys R Us is going out of business. I’ll always remember Toys R Us as the store where
my children had a complete and total meltdown each and every time we went there.
I guess people don’t enjoy that anymore.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“It’s spring break! Just remember, the partying lasts a week, but the photos will
cost you jobs forever.” -Jimmy Fallon

“After residents in Birmingham complained about the terrible smell, New York City has
agreed to stop sending railcars full of the city’s excess sewage to a landfill in Alabama.
Yeah, train cars filled with human waste and an unbearable smell–or, as that’s called
in New York, the subway.” -James Corden

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
“Did you give the prisoner the third degree?” the police sergeant asked the detective.

“Yeah, we browbeat him pretty good,” nodded the other. “Asked him every question we could think of.”

“And did you get a confession?” asked the sergeant.

“Not exactly,” explained the officer. “All he’d say was, ‘Yes dear,’ and doze off.”


Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???

“That’s why he had asthma. It can’t be luck. His lungs were closed. His lungs were closed. No poison got in. No poison got in. His lungs were closed. His lungs were closed.”


Mel Gibson’s character, Rev. Graham Hess, says this quote near the end of the movie. Graham is a man who had been a reverend, but when his wife died, he lost his faith. At this part of the movie Graham is starting to see that everything happens for a reason, and he begins to regain his faith. His son Morgan has asthma, which was always thought of as being a negative thing. It ends up saving his life though, because he is given poison. Since he has asthma, his lungs were closed, so he survives. Graham realizes that it’s really a blessing his son has asthma. Morgan is played by Rory Culkin, who is the brother of Macaulay Culkin.

Tuesdays Movie Trivia of the day!
“Who am I? Are you sure you want to know? The story of my life is not for the faint of heart. If somebody told you it was a happy little tale… if somebody told you I was just your average ordinary guy, not a care in the world… somebody lied.”


Monday’s Quizzler is………. 

In this teaser, you are to start with the letter ‘U’, and then each time add a letter and shuffle it to make a new word.
You need to continue this process until you reach the word ‘PRODUCE’.
Not including ‘U’, you must do this in six (6) turns.
Good luck.

_ _
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Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
Listed below are clues that refer to 2 different words. The sound of these words, put together, make a different
compound word. Also, just to make things even trickier, when you figure out the words, you might need to
switch them around to find the compound word.

Ex. A piece of bread used for making some sandwiches shaped as the fifth letter of the alphabet. (Bun + E = Bunny)

Can you figure out all the compound words?

1. A relation’s short sleep.
2. The talker was the opposite of quiet.
3. A cube-shaped vehicle.
4. Spade’s situation.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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