WELCOME to Thursday April 5, 2018.
Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport hotel after he tried to pass two (counterfeit) $16 bills.
A man in Johannesburg, South Africa, shot his 49-year-old friend in the face, seriously wounding him, while the two practiced shooting beer cans off each other’s head.
A company trying to continue its five-year perfect safety record showed its workers a film aimed at encouraging the use of safety goggles on the job. According to Industrial Machinery News, the film’s depiction of gory industrial accidents was so graphic that twenty-five workers suffered minor injuries in their rush to leave the screening room. Thirteen others fainted, and one man required seven stitches after he cut his head falling off a chair while watching the film.
The Chico, California, City Council enacted a ban on nuclear weapons, setting a $500 fine for anyone detonating one within city limits.
A bus carrying five passengers was hit by a car in St. Louis, but by the time police arrived on the scene, fourteen pedestrians had boarded the bus and had begun to complain of whiplash injuries and back pain.
Swedish business consultant Ulf af Trolle labored 13 years on a book about Swedish economic solutions. He took the 250-page manuscript to be copied, only to have it reduced to 50,000 strips of paper in seconds when a worker confused the copier with the shredder.
A convict broke out of jail in Washington D.C., then a few days later accompanied his girlfriend to her trial for robbery. At lunch, he went out for a sandwich. She needed to see him, and thus had him paged. Police officers recognized his name and arrested him as he returned to the courthouse in a car he had stolen over the lunch hour.
Police in Raynor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message “He’s lying” was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn’t telling the truth. Believing the “lie detector” was working, the suspect confessed.
When two service station attendants in Ionia, Michigan, refused to hand over the cash to an intoxicated robber, the man threatened to call the police. They still refused, so the robber called the police and was arrested.
A Los Angeles man who later said he was “tired of walking,” stole a steamroller and led police on a 5 mph chase until an officer stepped aboard and brought the vehicle to a stop.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
“It just came out that Pope Francis said that there is no such thing as hell. And then he got stuck in Boarding Group C on Spirit Airlines and said, ‘Never mind, I found it.'” -Jimmy Fallon
“Baby names based on the characters from ‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens’ are becoming very popular. I feel like if you’re naming your baby after a science fiction movie character, maybe you’re not ready to have a baby.” -Jimmy Kimmel
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Here are the single people that come to mind. Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Ernest T. Bass, the Darlin family, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara… in fact, the only one who was married was Otis, and he was the town drunk.
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ANSWER: Wayne’s World
‘Party on Wayne’ ‘Party on Garth’ One of the few ‘SNL’ spin-offs that was any good.
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Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
different set of words). Example: king, ring, wing.
1a) inexperienced
1b) to address with expressions of kind wishes
1c) unreasonable selfish desire
2a) highly skilled
2b) to conform
2c) to accept formally and put into effect
3a) a committee for judging and awarding prizes
3b) conceal or hide
3c) violent anger
4a) a rounded shape
4b) spoken
4c) a gemstone
look like they should rhyme, but they don’t. See if you can figure out the missing letters in each sentence.
Example: One symptom of bronchitis is a ro___ co___. (The two words are: rough & cough.)
1. When God speaks, it is a w___ from the L___.
2 After the fl___, Noah disembarked and st___ on Mount Ararat.
3. If it doesn’t rain today, I will wa___ the garden la___.
4. He was so___ to wo___ his family by arriving home late.
ANSWER:
2. flood stood
3. water later
4. sorry worry
Though to water I’ve been compared.
You may also find a twinkle
When through my pane you stare.
When of wind I am the calm
The center holding still.
When of you, a different part
My bottom lid, my sill.
You may look into me
only to see through.
You may indeed look out of me
Through my frame of varied hue.
The riddle in three parts
as letters in my name.
The riddle shows you who I am
But tell me just the same.
Who am I?
The World According to the Eucman! 