Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!



How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!

Never date someone cross-eyed…You’ll always catch them seeing other people on the side!

Whenever I undress in the bathroom…My shower gets turned on!

What’s the difference of deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are a $1.75, but deer nut are under a buck.

I have a few jokes about unemployed people but it doesn’t matter none of them work.

eBay is so useless. I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 13,749 matches.

Did you hear about the man who jumped off a bridge in France? He was in Sein.

What did E.T.’s mother say to him when he got home? “Where on Earth have you been?!”

My math teacher called me average. How mean!

That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!

Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!

I’ve just written a song about tortillas – actually, it’s more of a rap.

Somebody stole all my lamps…and I couldn’t be more de-lighted!

What do you do with chemists when they die? Barium!

I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!

My wife refuses to go to a nude beach with me…I think she’s just being clothes-minded!

I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.

When I get naked in the bathroom, the shower usually gets turned on.

Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!
Have a HAPPY TUESDAY people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!
Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

At home I am a nice guy: but I don’t want the world to know.
Humble people, I’ve found, don’t get very far. ~Muhammad Ali

Service to others is the rent you pay for
your room here on earth. ~Muhammad Ali

Don’t count the days; make the
days count. ~Muhammad Ali

It’s hard to be humble when you’re
as great as I am. ~Muhammad Ali

If you even dream of beating me you’d better
wake up and apologize. ~Muhammad Ali

Braggin’ is when a person says something and
can’t do it. I do what I say. ~Muhammad Ali

It’s not bragging if you can back it up. ~Muhammad Ali

G u a r a n t e e d to Make You Laugh!
While I was dining in the restaurant of a large hotel, I heard
a loud crash. A waitress had dropped a whole tray of coffee cups,
plates, and dishes. Being only a couple tables away from her, I
felt a stinging pain in my hand where I was cut from the shattered
debris. I was immediately escorted to the hotel doctor.
“What happened?” he asked.
I said, “Attacked by a flying saucer.” 😱😁😎

Mondays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Well, there’s something you don’t see every day.”

Answer: “Ghostbusters”
Created by Gozer to be the “Destructor” from Dr. Ray Stanz’s (Dan Aykroyd) thoughts, Mr. “Stay-Puft” is eventually destroyed by the team’s proton streams. The American Film Institute ranked the film #28 (out of 100) of the best comedy films of all time in 2000. “Ghostbusters” also starred Harold Ramis, Sigourney Weaver, Ernie Hudson and Rick Moranis. Directed by Ivan Reitman, the film had two Academy Award nominations (Best Visual Effects, Original Song).

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“You’re not from around here, are you? “

Monday’s Quizzler is….​
Which is the odd one out?

Answer: “Keyboards”. All the other words contain names from the 12 signs of the
zodiac: bound-Aries, Cancer-ous, Libra-rian, Scorpio-ns, chame-Leo-n

Tuesday’s Quizzler is…….
Based on the clue in parentheses, find a four-letter word that can be inserted backwards into the blank to complete a longer word.

Example: di____ve (a defeat)
Answer: dissolve (“A defeat” gives you LOSS, which is placed backwards in the blank: di_SSOL_ve.)

  1. co____ed (pickle flavour)
  2. ou____ts (seasoning and preservative)
  3. di____ed (edible tubers)
  4. san____e (tubular pasta)

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.,

CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.


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